iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Reimagining partnership as an aromantic, asexual, or aspec person means finding love and intentionality in community. So many types of connection matter, NOT because they imitate romance, but because the weight and fulfillment formed in those relationships can stand on its own

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Being aromantic, asexual, or aspec isn't about absence, it's about presence. Connecting with others on our own terms means we get to define intimacy in ways that honor our boundaries and craft meaningful relationships beyond societal expectation. I just think that's beautiful

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Asexual people are often seen as naive because of society's focus on attraction as a sign of maturity. The reality is that many of us learn who we are by reflecting on the ways intimacy is presented to us and understanding where it does or doesn't make sense with our experiences

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Diminishing the weight of our emotions, desires, and boundaries, in and out of relationships, because we're aroace is dehumanizing and futhers the oppressive structures that are heavily ingrained within society. Our identities aren't a burden or a sacrifice

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

That conclusion operates under the idea that we're "missing out" on intrinsic pieces of the human experience and thus we'll never be truly happy, but it fundamentally misunderstands the nuance that exists in our community and how we've broken down normative those concepts

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Aromantic and asexual identities aren't the result of unfulfilled allonormativity. Centering our quality of life around how we interact with attraction and its associates perpetuates that we're incomplete when our orientations and experiences are a part of what makes us whole

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The overall dismissal of predominantly asexual and aromantic experiences, as well how we chose to articulate them, shows how ingrained aphobia is in society. Erasure is discrimination and, passive or not, it carries a violent weight that deserves to be taken seriously

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

That statement not only tries to console us over our orientations but also ignores and invalidates those of us who are in happy partnerships and also all of us who don't want them. The validity and worth of our lives shouldn't be centered around the way we experience attraction

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The idea that aromantic and asexual people "haven't met the right person yet" plays into the belief that we're missing out on intrinsic experiences and haven't truly discovered ourselves. It perpetuates that we're incomplete when our identities are a part of what makes us whole

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

While aromantic and asexual people can have healthy partnerships, centering our acceptance and quality of life around that idea does more harm than good. We are deserving of respect and inclusion regardless of how we interact with intimacy and the actions associated with it

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

The allonormative framework that's ingrained into society views sex and romance as inherent to the human experience and equates those concepts with desirability. It creates a belief that one's projected attractiveness has some bearing on their personal identity, which isn't true

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

A common conclusion that aphobes come to about why people identify as aromantic or asexual is that we're unattractive, which operates under the assumption that our identities are performative and is often a projection of their own misconseptions surrounding our orientations

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Also, some aromantic and asexual people experience difficulty surrounding emotions or expression in relationships of any kind, and it's important to note that our worth shouldn't be centered around how we interact with intimacy and the ideas associated with it

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

While it's possible we might express affection differently from what is socially considered normative by employing broader meanings to certain phrases and actions or choosing to not engage in what is generally expected of us, our relationships have weight to them

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

To disregard the value of aromantic and asexual intimacy, and the nuances that come with it, is to be ignorant to varied social dynamics and perpetuate a hierarchical view of relationships established by harmful frameworks that aren't inclusive to everybody's experiences

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Asexuality challenges a culture that often conflates perceived desirability with sexual availability. Our identities invite reconsideration about what we're told is inherent to intimacy and attraction. Perception alone can never tell you what kind of connection someone might seek

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Intimacy as a concept must transcend traditional ideas of sex and romance. When these attractions are viewed as inherent for a deep connection, it pressures an experience onto people without giving them the tools necessary to evaluate what they actually want for themselves

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

There's no wrong way to be aromantic, asexual, or aspec. Intimacy is such a diverse concept that allows for different meanings and associations based on individual desires and boundaries. All the ways in which we navigate our identities are important, and I think that's beautiful

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

For me, being aromantic and asexual is just as much of a political identity as it is a personal one. Breaking down normative structures and rejecting the imposition of intimacy, desire, and connection as defined by others is how I prefer to move through the world

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Happiness and love aren't synonymous as they are presented and perpetuated by allonormativity. It's important to recognize the nuance in identity, as well as other forms of attraction that some of us do and don't experience. We are worthy of inclusion and consideration regardless

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

"You're aromantic? But everyone needs love" Love isn't just romantic, but also centering someone's worth around how they interact with and articulate the idea of intimacy is incredibly othering. Being aromantic isn't a burden; we're whole, and our orientations are a part of that

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Queerplatonic relationships show us that there's freedom in defining partnership for yourself. Meaningful connection isn't determined by tradition, but the intention we use when caring for one another. We don't have to inherit anyone else's idea of intimacy in order to be happy

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

While aromantic, asexual, and aspec people can engage in actions normatively associated with attraction, our worth shouldn't be centered around it. All of our voices are worth hearing and respecting regardless of how we interact with intimacy and the language surrounding it

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Aromantic and asexual joy is so important, yet it's often overlooked because our identities are viewed as inherently isolating or limiting, which ignores how much love and meaning can exist when you're able to express the weight of connection in the same way that you feel it

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

To pathologize or medicalize our orientations is to treat us, well meaning or not, as a problem to solve, not a possibility to celebrate and learn from. We aren't a burden, we're whole, and our identities are a part of what makes us whole

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Aromantic and asexual people often have our identities met with attempted explanations rather than belief in our own self-understanding. They not only try to console us over a general misrepresentation but also ignore the time we spend discerning our experience before coming out

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

As an aroace person, I dont want someone who feels like being with me is a sacrifice. In the way that I respect unwavering priorities, I need an understanding of the impact my identity has on me. Everyone should get what they want out of relationships, including aroace people

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Reposted by Ashley Joy

Grendel @grendelmenz.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Wonderful news — I’m making a graphic novel with @fieldmouse.press!

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Labels like queerplatonic and alterous not only help a lot of aro people with better understanding their identities, but they can also be very affirming of how we might experience attraction and form emotionally intimate connections depending on personal desires and boundaries

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Queerplatonic relationships aren't lesser than romantic ones. Recognizing the significance of non-romantic partnerships without hierarchy is important to the necessary inclusion of aromantic people. Our experiences are real, and belittling the language accessible to us isn't okay

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Everyone, regardless of identity, can benefit from learning about aromantic, asexual, and aspec experiences. They broaden our view of intimacy, showing that purpose can be found in countless ways beyond the traditional frameworks of romance and sex, creating space for everybody

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people often build their lives around friendships in a way that is intentional and deeply meaningful. Building intimate connections that are real and sustaining without the expectation of sex or romance is so genuinely important

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Our voices should be uplifted and heard as much as everyone else's in the community. We're often dismissed and not taken seriously for no other reason than blatant aphobia. We're important and should be considered in conversation. Letting people know we exist isn't enough anymore

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Not experiencing attraction to some degree doesn't inherently make us naive, and the fact that we're constantly being talked down to due to our orientations needs to stop. Belittling our identities and perpetuating that we're "too innocent" to be treated respectfully isn't okay

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people are infantilized because attraction and partnership are viewed as a prerequisite to adulthood. This is harmful and projects that we'll "grow up eventually" but also that we aren't mature enough to consent or have valuable relationships

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Being asexual means growing up in a world shaped by compulsory sexuality. When we've inherited expectations without the ability to question them, it's easy to get confused about your own experiences. Understanding yourself means learning what's yours and what's been handed to you

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Asexuality and aromanticism have an incredible amount of political value that deserves to be acknowledged. With the way that amatonormativity is woven throughout various social structures, our experiences provide much needed perspective surrounding the nuance of connection

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

It's so sad that most aromantic, asexual, and aspec people reach the conclusion that they're "broken" WAY before they have the language accessible to them to even begin realizing who they are

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

It runs deeper than people online disliking us and even then, aphobia in online spaces shouldn't be dismissed. It isn't seen as deserving of attention despite being one of the many facets of prolonged discrimination. Aphobia is very real experience that hurts us and the community

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

This framework actively harms aromantic, asexual, and aspec people while producing a dynamic that rewards being allo. The prioritization of these types of attractions over other ones creates a relationship hierarchy as well as a binary that lacks nuanced experiences

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Aphobia is ingrained in our society because allonormativity places such heavy emphasis on sexual and romantic attraction, subsequently follwed by action, in relation to maturity and fulfillment as well as perpetuating them as inherent to the human experience, which isnt inclusive

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people also deserve to get what they want out of relationships. In the same way that we understand others' unwavering priorities, the weight of our identities and experiences needs to be respected as well

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people aren't JUST valid, we're valuable and deserving of a space within the queer community. Letting people know we exist without actually allowing our voices to be heard isn't enough anymore

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

The constant belittling of predominantly aromantic experiences is incredibly harmful to both us and the community as a whole. Queerplatonic relationships are not the same as friendships but both definitely need to be valued higher and appreciated more often in general

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

Saying qprs are "just friendships" undervalues platonic relationships and residing qprs to that for existing outside of an allonormative structure isn't okay. Both of these types connections are important and they should be treated that way

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

"Queerplatonic relationships? You mean just friends" Queerplatonic partnership isn't synonymous with friendship. Qprs are committed relationships on a foundation that isn't romantic or platonic, even if it has some elements that traditionally fit into those categories

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Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 06/04/2026

It's unfortunate to me that asexuality in media is presented as less interesting or multifaceted than allosexual identities despite being an orientation that is incredibly varied and can add a lot of dimension to a character or plot line while also providing representation

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