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anna melissa 🍒✨

@annamelissa.bsky.social
11K followers 295 following 1K posts

lady in the streets, gangsta in deez skeets. the only ethical consumption under capitalism is me eating you bitches up. ✨ purpose driven creative + writer 🏀 woman in sports 🎪 serial sidequester 🐶 hooper stan account annamelissa.net

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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
i vote that all the world cup tourists that are having a blast here in america just stay here. don’t fly back. i love illegal immigration. get in here, girl.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
pocahontas live action, but the setting is 90 day fiance the other way
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
never brag about a man bc it activates their spidey senses & tells them it’s time to embarrass you
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
figured i needed attention so instead of running a marathon, i forced southern california drivers to park their cars on the 110 at 3am. 🥰
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
no such thing as a retired crashout bc every now & then, my cookie monster pajamas start calling to me like the green goblin mask
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
an employer did a background check on me & i don’t know why i got nervous that i secretly committed heinous crimes that i wasn’t aware of. 💀
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
this bieber coachella set is giving me war flashbacks from every man i dated in my 20’s that lived on youtube 😭 “hAve yOu sEen tHiS yOUtuBe viDeO?”
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
must suck to be those astronauts coming back to earth. i’d imagine it feels like turning yourself in. 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
a man complimented my jacket. i said thank you & then he followed me 🥰🥰🥰🥰
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
texting my exes this april fool’s day & saying, “i miss you” & when they respond, answering with, “oops wrong chat.”
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
everyday is april fool’s day when ur attracted to men
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
i stg if you prank me today, i’m going to jail. nothing’s funny rn. 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
switched to only eating whole foods. i’m not playing. i’m trying to be so fine this summer so i can ignore all my messages.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
the worst thing to happen to tiktok is the fact that everyone & their mama started becoming sales reps for the sake of commission. like why are you selling everything under the sun 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
don’t think of it as friendzoning. think of it as redshirting.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
i love cleaning my apartment & then calling it crime scene ready bc i’d haunt you all from the afterlife if the cops came to photograph my apartment & i looked like i was musty 😭😭😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
started lifting & eating like a gym bro again. unfortunately the gym bros are right. this shit does in fact feel good. 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
men will traumatize you in the most diabolical ways & then send you an instagram reel
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
hot pilates life hack: live on the west side & do it in your apartment that doesn’t have a/c.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
i tried to watch hamnet but paul mescal’s iphone face was taking me out of it 😂
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
“wHy iSn’T tHis oN tHe nEwS?” babe, it is. it’s just not on your tiktok algorithm pls find other sources of news 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
when i was 5, i got chased by an ostrich bc my kindergarten class had a field trip to a place called bunny hop ranch & the person taking care of the animals pointed me out & said, “wanna come in and pet him?” then i got chased by an ostrich & the employee was screaming while trying to get me out 💀
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
i’m so deeply unmotivated by life rn. everything is so expensive. our government is on some bullshit every waking moment. the job market is ass. there’s like nothing to look forward to.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
did anyone ever solve the mystery behind why so many men had pics holding fish on their dating app profiles
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
remember when car flags were popular
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
came to the realization that my dog is a white boy. pls respect my privacy at this time.
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
thinking about the time when my uncle borrowed bieber’s sprinter for my grandma’s funeral & we were all sobbing in a purple interior with neon lights. 💀💀💀
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
why is it corny when someone wears designer sneakers? like chanel sneakers are so ugly & corny 😂
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
remember when grown adults thought they were cool because they “owned” a jpeg of a cartoon ape?
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
thinking about the time when i told a coworker, “nice sweater, dork. did your mom make it?” and she actually did. 😭😭😭😭😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
thinking about a time when my nba fandom was an issue for a man i was dating & i audibly laughed in his face because he said, “i’m not competing with luka doncic.” 😭😭😭😭😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
it’s genuinely concerning (& also triggering for someone that’s had an ED) to get so many weight loss ads. 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
think of the worst person you know. they made a zine didn’t they
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
being an A list actor in hollywood is legit just rich people playing professional make believe
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
my current fixation is roasted asparagus. i’ve consumed maybe 2 lbs in the past week 😂
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
there’s a girl at the end of the hall that makes the building smell like a chinese restaurant all the time & i wanna be friends with her so bad so we can trade food 😂
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
every now & then i have a typo that says, “ong” instead of “omg.” & i hope the person reading my message doesn’t think i’m saying, “on god.” 🥲😭🥲
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
thinking about my neighborhood fruit man that kisses me on the forehead whenever i see him someone’s tio is out here kissing customers on the forehead 😭😭😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
gas so expensive that when i’m sitting in traffic i wanna cry bc it feels like i’m lighting money on fire 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
made dinner for the fam tonight lemon roasted chicken, roasted asparagus with crispy capers & leeks, & mashed potatoes
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
says who?
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Reposted by anna melissa 🍒✨
Kofie @kofie.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
They were triple teaming him in the backcourt man 💀💀
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
you ever get extremely sad watching dinosaur documentaries? like imagine how pretty earth was before we had shit like lockheed martin & AI
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
do you really live in la if you haven’t had to walk through someone filming a dancing tiktok in the middle of erewhon
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
it’s unfortunate that the first few days of daylight savings has me fighting for my life bc i lost an hour. but i have the will to live again 😭
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
vietnamese coffee will have you updating your resume
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
happy international women’s day to everyone except the women that raised my exes. y’all deserve jail time 🩷
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
i wonder if during eras where there’s a lot of unrest, if there’s an increase in number of women that get bangs
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
ngl sometimes i envy married people. not bc i wanna be married but bc there’s added security in a dual income household 🥲
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anna melissa 🍒✨ @annamelissa.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
i spend an incredible amount of time thinking about what life would be like if we all just lived on pangea 😂
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