iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

then i got proven right again, i guess, when i woke up from major surgery at 3/10 pain. i thought i was /weak/ and had low pain tolerance for literally my entire adult life because my only real reference was periods and i just kept getting 'deal with it like everyone else, don't be dramatic 🙄'

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when they actually got in there for surgery, i had multiple lesions on my peritoneal wall and colon, and scar tissue adhesion that glued my colon and intestines to my lower back muscles in at least two places. wild how i was right about my own pain for over a decade.

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it took 11 years to get a basic ultrasound to rule out structural issues and fibroids for bleeding that made me anemic to the point of being unable to walk around my house in my preteens, for reference. i was sort of ok due to birth control, but when that stopped working i got very little help

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the sheer contrast of the past 12 years of being told i'm being hysterical/weak/hypochondriac vs downplaying my own pain/symptoms to avoid being seen as 'dramatic' and immediately being called on it within 5 minutes of conversation was insane

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after 12 years of getting brushed off and possibly straight up gaslit by medical professionals and learning to not trust them by default, it's weird to realize i'm kind of devastated that my surgeon who i've seen face to face 5 times total is leaving the practice near me

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 27/04/2025

coming back to talk about feelins. also in case i didn't mention it here, i got surgery in march for endo lol

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still doing fanart for the fic series Six Black Birds

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

Thank you! I'll make sure to take a look at them. I've got a lot of downtime coming up, so I'm sure I'll find one to get into

Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

thank you! media to watch would be great. I barely know where to begin tbh, so anything you have would be amazing

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Reposted by Neru

nsfw neru | Comms Open @neruatnight.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

lamenters are friend s. lamenters good and loving. friend lamenter hold guard safe.

Two space marines, bioengineered super soldiers, stand next to each other. They are in yellow armor with heart-themed heraldry and icons. One is holding a human guard.

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

that's true. I'm mostly going for this program because it's taught in english and has specific classes set up for learning the language close to fluency, which would otherwise be a major barrier for getting work in this country

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i'm just not sure why people are so attached to this place. i know i won't survive if i don't leave. i'm not a strong or resilient person. especially in the area where i live, over 50% of the people voted for this. I can't trust anyone I haven't already met, and it's exhausting.

i'm trying to get into an english language masters program to have a structured portion of time to get settled, but i will go over there and rawdog it if i have to or if things absolutely implode here and i can no longer afford it even if i get in.

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if you're a minority in america and have any route to get dual citizenship, would should start that process now. i'm almost there myself. if my own family hadn't fucked me over through HHR, i would actually be a dual citizen now and able to live somewhere with universal, affordable healthcare.

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

i keep trying to convince my brother to at least start his dual citizenship process but he seems against it. i understand wanting to stay and fight but sometimes the most important victory is staying alive. he and his wife are in even more danger than most from this administration.

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my cost estimate for surgery is actually doable holy shit. i though it would hit the out of pocket max but it doesn't even come close

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

because regardless of the results of my upcoming masters application, i will be going back. good run while we had it but nah. i;m going back to the country with universal healthcare and public transit bye

Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

ineed ot find that meme someone made that was like my dad moving to the US in the 1980s to escape an authoritarian government: 👁️👁️ me moving back to his country in 2025 to escape the rise of christofascism and authoritarianism in the US: 👁️👁️

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what an excellent day for an exorcism @snickettes.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

I really really need you guys to make a conscious rejection of generative AI tools part of your ongoing political resistance. Don't use ChatGPT. Turn off Gemini. Don't read the AI results forced upon you at the top of Google search. Don't use AI art generators or support anyone who does. Please.

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

eventually i'll post art. eventually i'll learn to ignore the fucking coup that's happening so i can actually function and do things but it won't be for a while

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

how is anyone managing right now? if you live in the us and aren't a fucking gullible idiot i'd like to know because i am on the verge of Loosing It for good

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Julia Métraux @juliametraux.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Hi, I am @motherjones.com' disability reporter. In the following weeks, I am very interested in hearing how tariff nonsense impacts getting your meds and medical equipment. My email to get in touch is jmetraux@motherjones.com. Reposts appreciated.

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Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

well i've scheduled my surgery. i hate having anxiety because now i'm second guessing a surgery i've been wanting for over a decade

Neru @aneruneru.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

and you have to make some version of this decision multiple times a year because you were born