“Appul” The Unabomber…on my soberversary. That’s about right. 8 glorious years of teetotaling has led to this moment. Happy Sober October everybody! Ahh the wood paneling of 1994 rich guy door frames…...

“We love a contentious environment.“ Is it me or has this been a pretty underwhelming year for film? I mean look at me resorting to MacGruber, Tony Scott and Steven Seagal movies to get my jollies. I ...

“Yo fuck nuts! You da guy trow a puppy out da window?” For the love of Christian soldiers moving onward, this bombastic pile fires up playwright Arthur Miller on a quote slate to open the film. A film...

“You don’t know somethin’ just ask.” Retirement home vs daycare. Many of us start and finish in the same place. If we’re lucky we will meet others on different points of the timeline and learn from th...

"Hello Machine, I love your work." Grimy, disjointed turn of the century Joel Schumacher/Andrew Kevin Walker joint which slopped it's way onto the screen due to a hurricane of confused genre trade win...

"Everytime I watch the sunrise, I think of Tupac. We once watched the sunrise together after a long night. It was quiet for a second than he looked at me and said "I'm a thug, I prefer the sunrise." I really don't know what that means, but I still live by it to this day." - Jim Belushi You hear that? That's the autumn winds of September creeping up the banks of the Mississippi like a thug in the night. Just kidding, that was me letting out an elongated sigh because the kids are finally back in school. Which means

According to Terminator 2, Skynet was supposed to become self aware yesterday. Maybe that's why I continue to live my life in a 3rd floor apartment in a GoBots panopticon. 40 years of useless pop cult...

“What you all need is a GOOD WAR!” Jason Segal looks…weathered. I love that for him. Forgot he existed. Jorma Taccone eh? Forgot all about him too. MacGruber was what…14…15…16 years ago? Ha. Good lord...

“I’m from Pittsburgh. We play real football.” The dollar tree has withered and croaked but the fecal remnants of unemployed Goodwill runs continue to runneth over my cup. In other words, I still have ...

Ok so I'm logging this twice in a row, which is something I almost never do. I had it on in the background while I was working the other day (which is something you're legally allowed to do after you'...

You ever work remotely from a car dealership? I sat there for hours twirling my $7 iced coffee in circles before I realized someone had written “be well!” in sharpie on it. All I could think about was...

"You must give yourself up to the storm." Another 3 hour tour from Christopher Nolan. A noxious self-important run time for certain. It seems everyone is doing it these days, even that candy ass AI sl...

“It’s a bad look dude." I've been wracking my brain all day about how to write about this film. I hate just doing hatchet pieces where I say things like "this is one of the worst films I've ever seen....

“The French haven't the nature for war, they’d rather make love with their faces.” Dollar Tree Cinema presents...a 5 for 10 dollars production of...an original grade of 4 stars and a rewatch grade of ...

“Ok, I'm going to the basement to watch the movie I got at the abandoned Shopko now.” -me, to no one in particular They don’t really make political movies anymore. Films like Secret Honor, Nixon, JFK,...

“Everything went wrong by the numbers, and that takes planning.” I gotta be honest with you I just watched this because of the poster. Kind of like buying an album because you liked the cover art then...

Original grade: 3.5 Rewatch grade: 4.5 It’s 4th of July weekend, which means two things: meat and war. After the yearly reciting of the Denis Leary American Bible passages, and the ceremonial grilling...