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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Hey Padre, this day ain’t about you. This isn’t your audition for Clerics’ Got Talent. Why you’d want to pull focus from an absolutely beautiful bride and a groom who looked like the happiest man in the world, I’ll never understand.

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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like these are topics I’d avoid in most contexts, but almost certainly at a FUCKING WEDDING. The bride and groom were appropriately mortified and told everyone who would listen that they had specifically asked the priest for brief remarks.

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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Today’s 15 minute homily, which only remained semi-interesting from a cringe standpoint after the first 4, somehow managed to incorporate mentions of divorce and death (and not in a “celebrating the loved ones who aren’t with us to celebrate this day” kind of way).

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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Mostly because multiple times, the presiding priest seems to treat his homily like improvised open mic night, sounding rambling, totally unprepared, and completely impersonal to the couple he’d presumably spent significant time counseling beforehand (as is typical of church weddings).

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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I swear, Catholic weddings in particular are a pain to sit through, and the culprit is always the homily. Not even because it inevitably includes some comment about how marriage is between a man and a woman. I know that’s coming, and years of practice allow me to tune that out with ease.

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Alternate Duke @alternateduke.bsky.social · 29/09/2026