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Alejandro Kolleeny

@alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social
87 followers 45 following 1.5K posts

I’ll be good I swear. www.instagram.com/alejandrokolleeny alejandrokolleeny.substack.com

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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 47m
*gets stuck in a waterslide for 12 hours and they have to cut open the slide to get me out and it turns out I was holding my arms a certain way and could easily have dislodged myself at any time. emerging into the open air as the sun sets* "there has never been a better time to become a fan."
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 48m
Did some research on algorithms and it appears there are a variety of reasons my instagram engagement might have precipitously dropped beyond simply the world being destined to reject me in all forms. There has never been a better time to become a fan.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 3h
Trying to build a giant man made of regular men. Hit me up if you know a man.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 4h
My bed, aka “the anger charging pad.”
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 18h
Not sure I believe Doris Kearns Goodwin's assertion that Eleanor Roosevelt and her feminist friends had pillow fights.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 20h
Just thought, “Jesus my music is too loud!” I looked—my computer is on the lowest volume setting and the in app volume bar is down half way.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Do you remember that woman who couldn't tell her toddler Trump won the 2016 election so she was just nervously raising this kid who thought Hilary Clinton was president? I'm doing that but with a chihuahua and I'm telling it the president is Dr. Doom.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Shoutout to West Wing episode "The Women Of Qumar," another classic 2000's imaginary middle eastern country story. Allison Janney gives a long impassioned speech in support of the civil rights of the female population of the made up oppressive muslim country Qumar.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Doris Kearns Plagiarism?
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Not a fan of the 2005 JSA storyline in which Atom Smasher goes rogue and helps Black Adam take over the imaginary middle eastern nation of Kahndaq.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Gas still off but I am accruing quite a collection of updates from management.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
So now the gas is off but I forgot and cracked eggs into a bowl and mixed them and tried to butter a pan before I remembered. Looks like I'm drinkin raw eggs for lunch.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A guy died in my building and then two days later there's a notice on everyone's door that they found a gas leak in his apartment. Did...the gas leak...
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Greetings, I am the Responsibilitree! Each of my branches represents a different area of your life and each leaf a different responsibility . Upon completion, the responsibility leaves change color and fall to the ground. Have fun with your responsibilities, from me—the Responsibilitree!
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Fleeing via chairlift.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
When I was younger I had a lot of lofty feelings about true love but honestly at this age all I really want is a kind person to swim around inside my gaping mouth eating dead skin and food particles.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“Mostly I get placed on people’s arms or faces and then they scream a bunch.” —tarantula actor
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
In JSA Doctor Midnight is a surgeon and he does surgery in his superhero costume.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Ugh, another bad date. She went on and on about city politics! What happened to talking about movies, am I right?” *I have been speaking to a taxidermied hawk*
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
In roller coaster fan news, they are closing X2, the ride that killed some people, and the coaster fan community is mourning the loss of the COASTER.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm sorry, is Spawn influenced by the 1991 Ragman miniseries???
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
My body is incredible. It’s almost like a living organism.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Where art meets food—there is GULP. An interactive evening of stories, songs, and poetry, all communicated through the medium of food. Your MC for the evening—an onion
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up having improved.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I love art so much. It's really the thing that holds me together. And I thought making videos about art I loved would be a helpful outlet but frankly it's like trying to push an elephant through a cat door.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The Macarthur Genius Grant was founded in recognition of John Macarthur, the first person ever to say "I want the news not the weather."
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
So you mean to tell me that on Father’s Day, two separate members of the Justice Society experienced father centered storylines? Wow what are the odds maybe I hate storytelling.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
How dare a story purport to mean anything.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Imagine this. You and your spouse are out for a romantic dinner. You open your laptops on the table and join the zoom meeting with your waiter.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I had work over zoom today and miss zoom. We should do everything over zoom again, why did we ever stop?
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
My apartment has a cover charge and even I have to pay it. Last night it cost me $15 to go to bed and I had to buy two drinks.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sin has crept its way into my sleepy town disguised as a sweet talkin city boy with a penchant for dancing.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
They act nonchalant but swine fucking LOVE pearls.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
When you stop doing something sad but the thing you stopped doing was so sad you can't even tell people because they'd be freaked out you were ever doing it to begin with. (clown emoji)
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Happy to announce my long deleted Twitter account has been posthumously awarded the Newbury prize for excellence in children’s fiction.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Ugh I am once again blown away by how great the library is. Leon Forrest's books are so out of print they cost hundreds of dollars online and the library had all four of his novels sent to the branch near my house.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My Top 10 shows of any century Frasier Criminal Minds Smallville NBC’s The Slap X Files Dragonball (Z) Super Sentai (all 50 series) That’s it. Those are the only shows I watch. And if we’re being honest these are the only shows you need.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I have ordered my chicken tender combo "spiced."
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My neighbor's kid is still up. On a weeknight...
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Was trying to think of the word spermicide and my first effort was “anti-cum.”
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
sometimes I put on deodorant before going to bed, in case i meet a beautiful dream demon who is also exploring Italian literature
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Tomorrows Close Read is Close Good.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I've been drinking milk. And I was like oh well I'm a middle aged man, it'll probably just make me fat. And...I'm 6'6 now.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Children are not political props!
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
CAN YOU ELABORATE ON HOW THESE MEDIA OUTLETS ARE DANGEROUS???
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Reposted by Alejandro Kolleeny
Peter @peteribarra.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Sir, can we add this image to the archive with Rubio and the football?
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
putting a cat in a green screen suit and then animating a slightly larger cat
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
All the coffee I brew tastes like shit and I don't know if I'm using too much coffee, too little, or if this is what coffee on the low end of the price spectrum tastes like.
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Alejandro Kolleeny @alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
“The alien can take on any form. It could be any one of us.” “Shit. Scary stuff. Can someone pass the earth ketchup, I mean the ketchup?”
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