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Albert ARIBAUD

@albert.aribaud.net

278 followers 311 following 6.1K posts

X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett. Website (verified): albert.aribaud.net Masto: mastodon.art/@aaribaud (art/writing) piaille.fr/@aaribaud (geekery) Unrepentent #writ(ev)er(er?) Also: grandmaster of 아재 개그

Posts Replies Media

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 02/10/2026

I'm sensing mixed messages — well, mixed #Discourse — here.

A partial capture of a Discourse "New topics" page, where the top part says there is one new topic, and the center part says there are none.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 16/09/2026

Woah, je ne connaissais pas le Canard sous ce jour là.

Un extrait d'article qui qualifie le Canard Enchaîné de "journal satyrique", avec un "y" malheureux mais amusant.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 15/09/2026

The nicest explanation is "professional courtesy". The less nice explanation is that we're not worth it.

A still of a Youtube video showing orcas, with the title "We can't explain", and the subtitle/followup "Why the Ocean's deadliest predator refuses to kill us".

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 04/09/2026

MINE NOW. #Discworld #Pratchett

The Death seven-die set from Modophius' Discworld RPG. All dice are translucent blue with shiny white dots embedded, an white markings. The center die bears an eggtimer.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 04/09/2026

Mine now! #Discworld #Pratchett

The Vetinari seven-die set from Modophius' Discworld RPG. All dice are black with black writings. The center die bears the Vetinari coat of arms: an empty sable (i.e. black) escutcheon (shield) on a sable (still black) background.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 31/08/2026

Author's note #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Author's note:

So this second #Aughost story ends.

As last year, don't hesitate to like those part of it which you... well... liked the most.

And if you liked it to the point of wishing that others read it too, then I'll be grateful if boost or quote its very first post, so that readers can discover it from the start, and possibly the 2025 one before it as well.

Thanks for reading!

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 31/08/2026

31. Goodbye #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Goodbye

We finish our breakfast and exit Nettie's just when street lighting turns off.

Time to tell each other goodbye and head home. And sleep.

'So… See you in one week then?'

Fred frowns.

'What? Oh! Yes. The sweater. Of course.'

I raise an eyebrow.

'Promise?'

He smiles apologetically.

'Promise.'

Then I remember. Speaking of promises…

'By the way, Fred… Would you mind if my mother joined us for shopping next Saturday?'

THE END

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 30/08/2026

30. Contact #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Contact

'Also: I hereby officially forgo any claim I might still have on your soul. Don't expect anyone from Up There to contact you about this, though. You'll have to do with my word.'

Fred seems relieved, but also contrite.

'I should have trusted you back then. I'm sorry.'

'It's alright. But you do owe me, though.'

'W… what…'

I point at my chest.

'A sweater. You're in for going shopping with me next Saturday afternoon.'

'Oh! Er… Alright. I guess.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 29/08/2026

28. Grief #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Grief

'Now, you will go and make amends to everyone to whom you caused grief, from the first one to the last, in that order. I'll check on you. In your sleep. You better be able to show progress every. Single. Time. NOW START.'

Saint-Germain trips over himself rushing away.

'It's my turn now, right?' Fred says.

'Oh, don't be stupid. I *gave* you the dagger. I *knew* you had it under your coat. I *made* you stab me. I can hardly blame you for doing so.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 28/08/2026

27. Loss #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Loss

I take a deep breath. The dots in Fred's eyes subside. I turn to Saint-Germain again.

'Alright. First, you'll repay Fred for his entire loss plus ten per cent as, aha, punitive damage. And remember, reckoning is my thing, so I'll know if you stiff him.'

He breaks out of his stillness, fumbles for his phone, and taps feverishly.

I eye Fred, who fishes his own phone, fiddles a bit, then nods hesitantly.

'Good. And now…'

Saint-Germain starts shaking.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 28/08/2026

27. Inferno #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Inferno

'What was your plan if I'd died here as you expected?' I ask. 'Convince Fred to give you yet more money, allegedly to buy plane tickets to some extradition-proof place, but then zip away with it and leave him to shoulder the whole mess?'

'Lisa…' Fred interrupts.

'WHAT?' I say, turning to him.

His eyes are on me. And in his eyes I can see two red dots. Reflections of *my* eyes, burning inferno-style. Yeah, well, that happens when I'm angry.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 28/08/2026

26. Accident #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Accident

'I mean, I knew you were a fraud the second you said the *Fortalitium* explained how to kill succubi. It doesn't. I should know: I *proofread* it! Talk about a happy accident.'

I start walking toward him while I keep talking.

'So you were a scammer, and Fred was an easy mark. You've siphoned his bank account dry, I suppose? And then we meet, and you think I'm competition. So you decide to crush the competition. Better yet: have Fred do it.'

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 25/08/2026

25. Snakes #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Snakes

In fact, Saint-Germain would be less petrified if I had suddenly sprouted a hole hairdo of snakes.

I mean, he did know I'm demonic, right? Fred told him...

... Wait.

I smile. Fred has seen me smile this way
before, and now that he knows who I am, he gets an idea of things to come, and steps back.

But I'm focused on Saint-Germain anyway.

'You utter fucker! You thought I'd conned him and I was a mere mortal! You knowingly pushed him to murder!

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 24/08/2026

24. Catheral #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Cathedral

I turn to the two men, look at the blade tip, then stare back at them.

'Guys... You're killing me.'

I reach backward and effortlessly pull the dagger out.

'Have you *looked* around yourselves? These corridors are empty, the echo here is *huge*. I could have heard your whispers from two doors away. You might as well have shouted in a cathedral.'

Fred looks frightened, and pained, and his hand is shaking. But Saint-Germain looks *terrified*.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 23/08/2026

23. Wolves #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Wolves

'Can you tell what spell it is?' I ask.

'I don't recognize it,' Saint-Germain replies.

I move to the front to have a look at the seal.

It's almost abstract, bu I make out wolves revolving around one another.

'Weird. That looks like a sigil to ward off werewolves. But what would they do he—'

A silky sound interrupts me.

I look down.

Through my sweater, I can see, protruding from my chest, slightly on the left, the tip of a long, wavy blade.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 22/08/2026

22. Midnight #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Midnight

Fred parks the car on the side of a big building. Saint-Germain is waiting there, a keyring in hand, near a stair that leads down to a service door.

I look at my watch. Twenty to midnight. If something happens today, by custom it'll be at midnight, right?

Saint-Germain leads the way with a torchlight. Fred follows, then I. Some doors open at once. Others require a key. One, he stops at.

'Problem?' I ask.

'Er… I *think* this one bears a spell.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 21/08/2026

21. Cemetery #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Cemetery

As we drive toward the university, we pass the cemetery. There's usually a couple souls there, those which haven't resolved to move on yet, drifting around their body's grave.

This evening, they have gathered at the gate.

'Looks like they think something is going to happen soon,' I say. 'Maybe it would be better if you and Saint-Germain sat this one out.'

'Only Saint-Germain knows where the book is.'

'You don't need to come.'

'I want to.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 21/08/2026

20. Drive #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Drive

Fred's alone at his place.

'Saint-Germain went to the university library. He'll open the cellar doors.'

'Good. Now take this.'

I thrust a long wavy dagger with an engraved hilt into his hands.

'Is that the thing than can kill you?'

'That'll be safer here. Find a hiding place for it. Even I should not know where you put it. I'll wait outside.'

After a few minutes he comes out with his coat on, and walks to his car.

'I'll drive you there.'

'Ok.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 19/08/2026

19. Scarecrow #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Scarecrow

I spend the day doing the usual chores. I like my place clean, if not tidy, and even a Succubus needs clean clothes.

I exit my flat around eleven PM. I check that the small ornate disc on the out side of the door is in place. It's a seal, kind of like a scarecrow for supernatural creatures.

And of course, when I turn around to call the elevator, there's a ghost in front of me.

'News of my impending death?' I ask.

*'Tonight'*, comes the answer.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 18/08/2026

18. Birds #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Birds

The week-end has come, with a much awaited Saturday morning sunlit breakfast on the terrace.

Sparrows mill around, hunting for the bread crumbs which I generously cast at them.

I like birds. Descendents of creatures who were once given the whole Earth to roam freely, until someone went 'nah, the monkeys will do better.' I can relate.

Also, few other animals tolerate my company. Which, in the case of Chihuahuas, is a bless— a gods— a good thing.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 17/08/2026

17. Reflection #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Reflection

We agreed to wait until the week end, to avoid meeting any students on our way in or out of the building, so I went home. But I could not stay put, so I went for a walk around the lake to clear my thoughts.

Because upon reflection I couldn't get why that second ghost had rushed me. I mean, I might be responsible for a few souls leaving their bodies, but not many of them had stayed behind. Most had gone straight Down There. And not by my fault.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 16/08/2026

16. Smoke #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Smoke

'Anyway, back to the university archives. Haven't they got intrusion detection?'

'They don't seem to imagine preventing access, beyond banal locks, for which keys can easily be procured. However, and understandably, they do have fire detectors. Do you ever smoke?

'Did in my younger years, but I quit as soon as I realized it would hurt people who were close to me.'

'... I *meant* producing smoke *as a succubus*.'

'That's what I meant too.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 15/08/2026

14. Carnival #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Carnival

I turned back to Saint-Germain and Fred.

'Did you see it?'

Both nodded.

'Hear it?"

'No,' said Saint-Germain.

'Yes', said Fred.

'Figures,' I replied, 'your soul trip must have made you more sensitive. Well, you should expect to see and hear more and more of these if you stay around me.'

'Do you know what they want?' asked Saint-Germain.

'Not really. For all I know they might be trying to go *Carnival of Souls* on me.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 14/08/2026

14. Banshee #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Banshee

But Saint-Germain was not listening to me, and neither was Fred. Both were looking over my shoulder.

I turned and faced a ghost. An old one, judging by its disheveled state. A I focused on it, it let out a piercing banshee shriek and flew toward me.

I didn't flinch, for two reasons. First, a few grams at most of ectoplasm cannot hurt; and second, in its state, it was straining itself beyond disintegration. It turned to dust before reaching me.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 13/08/2026

13. Lakeside #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Lakeside

'Do you really live in some flat?' Saint-Germain said.

'What? Oh, yes. Managed to get my hands on a condo with a lakeside terrace. Makes for glorious sunrise morning breakfasts.'

'Seems quite... mundane.'

'I'm fine with mundane. Even got a paying job. And before you ask...' I added maliciously, 'it's certified accounting. I'm good with balance sheets. Just because I'm a succubus does not mean I have to play it to the letter.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 12/08/2026

Apparemment La Poste est à fond dans les technos quantiques.

Une capture d'écran de trois messages superposés, le premier annonçant des perturbations en cours (sans indiquer lesquelles), le second indiquant que mon colis n'a pas pu m'être remis et sera livré à mon adresse contre signature, et le troisième disant aussi que mon colis n'a pas pu m'être remis et qu'il m'attendra bientôt en point de retrait, en contradiction avec le second.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 12/08/2026

12. Stunt #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Stunt

I turned to Saint-Germain.

'Are there any copies of that book?'

'The *Fortalitium*? There's the one in the University archives, four blocks away.'

'Can it be borrowed?'

'I doubt so.'

'Discreetly?'

'Stolen, you mean?'

'Well, It'd be returned once the whole thing is over. But I'd like to read it for myself *and* stunt any access to it.'

'The university isn't a fortress. I happen to know a way in through cellars.'

I smiled.

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 11/08/2026

11. Morgue #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Morgue

'I don't get it,' Fred interrupted *can* you, or *can't* you be killed?

'Killing me *is* possible, but that requires using a specific thing which I'm positive no one has.'

'How can you be so sure?'

'Because it's one of a kind and right now it's in a dressing drawer in my flat, and because anyone trying to lay their hands on it without my leave would need to be insanely skilled at magic, lest they get a free ticket to the nearest morgue.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 10/08/2026

10. Arrest #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Arrested

So I told them about my friend's soul's scream and my "impending death".

'The *Malleus* and the *Formicarium* only say how to repel a Succubus,' said Saint-Germain, 'but I've been told the *Fortalitium* lists ways to kill one. Well, "to have one arrested", but that would *mean* "to kill".'

'Didn't know that about the third one. *Ways*, you say? Hmm. I was aware of only one way to kill me, and I am pretty sure no one can use it against me.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 10/08/2026

9. Payback #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Payback

Should death do us part, as it were, I owed Fred a talk about us.

And anyway, the Thorne payback dead end didn't leave me much else to do.

I found Fred at his place, with his "spiritual guide", who introduced himself as Saint-Germain. Either this guy was several hundred years old and very well preserved, or that was an assumed name.

Before I could even suggest a private talk, Fred told me Saint-Germain knew all about us.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 08/08/2026

8. Dishonest #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Dishonest

Although... I make it sound like I've got nothing to do with Fred's current sorry state, and that's dishonest.

To bring his soul back, I had to make it succumb to my succubus self. I promised him I wouldn't, er, do my part. I also told him we'd talk about it later.

But I never did. I left him with the dangling prospect of me potentially snatching his soul from his trembling fingers, so to speak.

That probably didn't help.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 07/08/2026

7. Burnout #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Burnout

Thorne seemed to have weathered the loss of his soul.

At least he was in better shape than Fred, who had tried to cope with loss *then* recovery of his soul by throwing himself into work, and ended up with a burnout, and last I knew, was finding comfort with some sort of guru.

Still, it was probably best if I went and checked with him. After all, if I was in danger, maybe he was, too.

... or he wasn't and I was going to draw danger to him.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 06/08/2026

6. Selfless #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Selfless

The butler let me in without even a word and led me to the study where Thorne was at his desk reading some papers.

'I'm just passing by. Are you scheming to get back at me?'

He looked up.

'Still to the point, I see. No, I am not. After I lost my soul, I soon lost all personal motive. My… selfless… self… has no interest in payback any more, nor in anything about me, really. I still manage the estate only so that its employees remain paid.'

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 06/08/2026

5. Haunt #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Haunt

As all I could do was wait, I went home, where a ghost was circling my flat's living room. I recognized Thorne's soul.

'You're supposed to suffer in Hell, not haunt me.'

'I was released with an answer for you.'

'Makes sense. So, what did my friend's soul see?'

'Impending death for you.'

'Can't say I'm surprised. Is your former host up to something?'

'I don't know.'

'How about we go visit him?'

'I am not allowed to.'

Oh well.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 04/08/2026

4. Selfish #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Selfish

I can't believe it! He made me promise to take Lilith — Mother — with me on the mortal plane for one whole week!

The worst part is, it's not even selfish. He did it for her, not himself. He'd do anything for her.

But hey, he's sent a request Upward on my behalf, so there's that. He even agreed to ask them to send their answer directly back down to me, so that I won't need another round trip Down. How they'll do is anyone's guess, he said.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 03/08/2026

3. Inherit #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Inherit

Departing souls usually don't scream. I should go Up There and ask this one what caused it to freak out like this.

Except I did inherit Mother's permanent Heaven ban (which I hate because I don't think she or I did anything wrong).

On the other hand, Father can talk to the Creator, or try to, at least.

I guess I'll have to pay him a visit and ask him to intercede.

That ugly bastard will *gloat*.

Yeah, we're a happy family.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 02/08/2026

2. Vigil #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

Vigil

I was attending the death vigil of a family friend. I mean I've know his family for generations. I've even… known… some of his ancestors. Not him, though. Just didn't happen.

When his soul left his body, it looked at me. Then *screamed*. Then flew Up.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 01/08/2026

1. AWOL #AuGHOST #AuGHOST2026 #Microfiction

AWOL

Hi! I'm Lisa (pronounced "lissa"), sole daughter of Lilith and Satan, thus part succubus, part demon. Afraid this shows in my fashion sense. Deal with it.

I live in the mortal plane, I can go Down There, and ascend to the ethereal plane, but not Up There.

Last year, Fred's soul went AWOL and I had to go to Hell and back *twice* to heal him. That was a breeze…

… Also: in all probability, I'll be killed within the hour.

Welcome in my world!

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 30/07/2026

Sorry what? (source: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traffic...)

"In December 1868, the first traffic signals showing a red or green light at night were installed outside the Houses of Parliament in London. They were invented by John Peake Knight. A police constable raised or lowered the semaphore arms and, at night, operated a lever to control the lights which drivers and pedestrians saw. This system exploded on 2 January 1869 and was taken down."

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 27/07/2026

Mauvais timing.

Une affiche publicitaire de la Haute-Garonne à l'arrière d'un bus, avec pour slogan "Pas besoin d'aller loin pour changer d'air !"

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 23/07/2026

J'avoue avoir eu un instant de doute.

Une photo de deux batteries rechargeables format AAA portant le texte "SUPPO".

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 21/07/2026

Wouldn't want to risk having a heart.

A Slashdot article stating that "Drinking 5 Cups of Coffee a Day Could Reduce Heart Risk".

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 19/07/2026

<sigh> it is not a "honest mistake" because only a person can do, and say, that. What the tool did is "what it was programmed for". What the tool's human creator(s) did is "a fuck-up".

From Slashdot: "OpenAI Acknowledges GPT-5.6 May Accidentally Delete Files, Calls It 'Honest Mistake' "

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 18/07/2026

"Our AI thingy is degraded." "No probs. Tell our AI thingy to fix that." "Ok."

An incident status from Cloudflare, stating that their "Workers AI" availability has been degraded (and investigated) for one month now.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 18/07/2026

Un produit de qualité, donc, qui a subi des contrôles stricts, comme sa page de description en ligne.

Le descriptif d'un produit vendu en ligne, dont le titre est "À propos de cet article" et le premier point mis en avant est "N PRODUIT DE HAUTE QUALITÉ SUR LEQUEL VOUS POUVEZ COMPTER", avec visiblement un "U" manquant avant le "N".

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 12/07/2026

Et au cas où l'argument serait opposé que "si ça se trouve ils ont déjà accepté des patches faits par un LLM", ils le démontent (entre autres) dès leur page d'accueil (au passage, dans un parallèle fort judicieux au problème de la licence) : human-emacs.org

"We are not here to discuss how bad-faith contributors can lie about the provenance of their patches. This risk is not new; bad-faith contributors have always been able to lie about the licensing and copyright implications of a patch. It is enough to treat LLM-generated patches the same as other forms of plagiarism."

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 12/07/2026

Tu n'en as pas conscience, alors, mais ton message que je reproduis ici, c'est bien une insulte : tu traites de nuls et/ou de menteurs des devs qui se sont donné une éthique (et ce juste parce tu ne crois pas que ça existe).

Une copie d'un message qui dit "Oui il existe bien une troisième catégorie de devs : ceux qui se voilent la face (ou ceux qui ne produisent rien)"

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 10/07/2026

"We guessud it looks like human consciousness from the things it does apart, you know, doing nothing." As for me, if part of an alleged brain did nothing visible, *sub*consciousness would my first marketing ploy--I mean, explanation.

A Slashdot article title that goes "A Silent Workspace In Claude Mirrors Key Features Of Human Consciousness"

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Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 03/07/2026

C'est la faute à @sylde.bsky.social si je le lis, et la faute à ma fille si je commence par *Pilgrims* (qui est la première dans l'ordre original). (pour le café j'assume seul)

Une photographie montrant côte à côte une tasse de café à moitié bue et un exemplaire de "If we cannot go at the speed of light" de Kim Choyeop, traduit du coréen en anglais par Anton Hur.

Albert ARIBAUD @albert.aribaud.net · 23/06/2026

Même les spammeurs en peuvent plus.

Une capture partielle de la boîte de réception de mon courriel où on voit un courriel d'un spammeur manifeste titré "UVOLNĚNÍ GRANTOVÉHO FONDU". Bien entendu ce "FONDU" n'a rien à voir avec la canicule actuelle, mais c'est tout de même drôle.