iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Congratulations to Wakefield Trinity Rugby League Club, who yesterday beat another club in something called the Grand Final. Rather inaccurate name because: A) It's in Manchester so cannot be Grand. B) It isn't final; these games happen every year & have done for over 2 decades. Text book nonsense.

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

The bitter bastards guilty of this wanton vandalism, should be thrown into a rat infested prison cell, and have Ed Sheeran played at maximum volume on a loop. #crime

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Rugby League Grand Final today: Wakefield v Warrington. Two teams from "Oop North." I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I hear Warrington cheated their way here after a player went down like a Premier League fairy to win a penalty. Unacceptable. Cheats shouldn't prosper. So team Wakefield today.

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Hearing a lot about traitors this morning. The biggest traitor I've known? Tony Hayers, BBC Commissioning Editor. The man refused me a second series despite favourable viewing figures for other shows on at a similar time. Needless to say, I had the last laugh after he fell from his roof and died.

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I was reminded earlier of a Geordie hotel worker whom I became quite friendly with out of pity. Michael had a deprived upbringing, joined the army upon leaving school, had encounters with ladyboys, thieving monkeys & learnt to kill people. He now works in a Portuguese bar helping locals get drunk.

021

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

You're listening to Norfolk Nights with me Alan Partridge joined by Sidekick Simon. Tonight we are discussing the death penalty & how it should be administered if it was reintroduced - Sandra from Blakeney emailed in with just one word - Drowning. .Next up - This is U2 and Sunday Bloody Sunday....

120

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I have to apologise for my earlier post featuring this chap. Lyn informs me his tattoo actually says "Stop the Boats", so it seems he's supporter of midget racists Danny Tommo & Mr Yaxley-Lennon. Anyway I cant agree becauae frankly stopping the boats would wreck the economy of the Norfolk Broads.

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I have to disagree with this young chaps "Stop the Boots" tattoo: Whether its hiking in the Scottish Highlands or dog walking through muddy fields, boots are essential footwear. I mean imagine if the British Army had issued sandals in 1939, we would all be speaking German now. #immigration #reform

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

That was The Police—or as they're known today, simply: Sting—with Walking on the Moon. A fine song, but technically inaccurate. Due to low gravity, you actually bounce along in a weighted suit. Something I'd expect Sting to have known as an ex-teacher. Still nice song - next up, its The Dooleys:

001

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Hearing chatter about Man City’s financial shenanigans. No one likes a cheat. Whether it’s inflating sponsorships or copying answers during a 1996 driving theory test. Play by the rules or don't play at all. Needless to say, expect the spineless premier league to do very little #ManCity #mcfc

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Pasty-faced Suffolk pop-pest Ed Sheeran is finding out that when you fall from grace in Norfolk, you fall hard. Locals hate his loyalty to Ipswich, but his assembly-line, aggressively beige, derivative audio-sludge was always reason enough to dislike him #EdSheeran #Canaries #RadioNorwich #Palestine

131

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

And that was Enya with Orinoco Flow, a song in which she sings endlessly about sailing away to various places, some of which frankly I would wish to avoid - still nice song... #Goodmorning #norwich

031

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Today we ask-Who's front door is this? I can tell you that it doesnt belong to spikey haired songstress Annie Lennox as suggested by a listener from Spixworth, who got quite upset when I told her it wasn't - I actually think she had problems, but we won't talk about that now - this is Wings and Jet

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Coming up on Norfolk Nights we have a very special guest; Some call her the Rolls Royce of middle aged women, Its Anthea Turner, a woman who let's be fair, looks phenomenal for 66. Truly defying the years. Unlike Dave Clifton, who looks like a melted candle - But first, its Toyah with Its a Mystery.

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Whenever one stays at a Travel Tavern, I always expect to be met at the end of the corridor by identical girl twins in frilly blue dresses. #theshining #hotels

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Its nearly 8.30am, and you're listening to - Up with the Partridge. Coming up next we have special guest Martin Clout, The son of the man who successfully pressure-washed the first-ever motorway service station -Blue Boar Watford Gap- in 1968...But first we have Shakin Stevens and Green Door.

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Poached eggs on sourdough bread, £14.50!! I wont name the Norwich establishment guilty of what I can only describe as Breakfast robbery. But what I will say for this price I expect the hen that laid them to have the ability to talk & brought to my table to justify the extortionate price. #morning

120

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

It doesn't surprise me, the annual drinks bill for Edmonds alone when I was at there, ran into 6 figures, and I know for a fact that Bill Oddie put two pairs of Nikon and Vortex binoculars through the Springwatch account.. #BBC

001

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Todays BIG QUESTION: Which seaside resort is the shittest? Is it Nigel Farages adopted home of Clacton? Is it Blackpool, home to the UKs own Eiffel tower. Or Weston Super Mare, which smells of canabis & requires a lengthy walk of a few miles before you can dip your toe into its turd filled waters?

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Intersting article in todays Mail about marijuana & Britain beginning to smell like a Canabis farm; A month ago I had the misfortune to be in Weston Super Mare for a conference at the Winter Gardens. A lunchtime promenade stroll had me fearful of breathing in deeply in case I got high. Place stank.

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Tomorrow's hot topic on Mid-Morning Matters - we ask, which is best - blanket or Duvet? #debate #alanpartridge #morning

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

And that was Phil Collins with his classic 80s song Sussudio - which is all about a girl who apparently doesn't know his name, but who he thinks likes him anyway? - complete gibberish- but still, nice song...next up its Yazz and the Plastic population....

010

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

In '91/92 I was the exclusive voice of Norwich City’s ClubCall line. 48p/min for premium, velvet-toned sports journalism. In '93, I was poached by bitter rivals Ipswich Town for a vastly superior package (and a lease car). Call it a betrayal, I call it market forces. #Broadcasting #ncfc #itfc #lufc

011

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

That was Starship with ‘We Built This City’. A track celebrating municipal construction via the medium of loud guitars. Something which the local authority would never allow. You cannot lay foundations built on Rock & Roll, if you did they would just fall down - still nice song- next up Phil Collins

030

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

And that was 80s effeminate heavy rockers Poison with, "Nothing but a good time". And if you're looking for a good time; then I can recommend a visit to the Longstanton Spice Museum. Not a lady of the night picked up on Rosary Road. #Goodmorning

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Its the book favoured by ex Prime Ministers outlived by a lettuce. Just ask Liz, who sent me a lovely message after reading my book, saying it gave her the strength to move even further to the right, that even the Daily Mail think she's lost the plot.. #bouncingback #alanpartridge

010

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

The night before his 1995 wedding to Amanda, Les said he felt like the cat that got the Queen. I said-no Les you mean cream. No he replied I mean Queen because Amanda is my Queen. Less that 10yrs later he would turn up drunk at a Travel Tavern I was staying in, shouting bitch repeatedly in the bar.

001

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Todays big question-who is your favourite Boris? Is it Eton educated buffoon & failed British PM Boris Johnson? First Russian president Boris Yeltsin? Or Boris Godunov: Tsar of Russia in the late 16th & early 17th centuries? Today my assistant Lynn will be taking your calls, due to illness.

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

And that was Enya with Orinoco Flow, a song in which she sings endlessly about sailing away to various places, some of which frankly I would wish to avoid - still nice song... #Goodmorning #norwich

031

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

That was Wales answer to Cliff Richard - Shakin Stevens with Oh Julie, a song in which he pleads - Julie never leave me, please don't deceive me. Frankly Shakey if you feel you need to plead like that so early into your relationship, I don't think its going to last that long... Still, nice song.

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Good morning Norfolk. Pelican crossings-Do they stay on red for too long, causing unnecessary congestion? Frankly if you can't cross a road in under 8 seconds I have to question if you should be walking the streets at all without a carer. Let me know your thoughts...This is Shakin Stevens - Oh Julie

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Linda from Little Walsingham has messaged to say, she thinks the birch should be brought back for cyclists who insist on riding two abreast..controversial, but they do hold up traffic, causing congestion, especially at weekends, when dozens of middle aged men squeeze into lycra & take to the roads.

111

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Should we bring back the birch for tracksuit clad, balaclava wearing hoodlums on illegal e-scooters & bikes? Let me know what you think on todays Hot Topic. Personally I think if we are going to bring back the birch, then it should also be given to people who graffiti on peoples cars - utter scum

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

And that was Britain's King of Rock & Roll - Cliff Richard with The Millennium Prayer. Something im sure Cliff did a lot of after his house was raided by Police in 2014. Thankfully his hard-drives were found to be squeaky clean, except for a few racy pictures of Sue Barker in her Wimbledon hey day.

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Its 7.25am, you're listening to Up with a Partridge, and this is one of the biggest stadium rock bands there is, R-E-O Speedwagon... ##Goodmorning #alanpartridge

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Good Morning North Norfolk, today we're discussing fitness, & what it is that you do to stay fit. Maybe like me you go jogging, or do you lift weights, something I'd like to do myself, but I have a bad back. Or maybe you enjoy something less vigorous like darts or snooker. Give me a call....Please

110

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Nigel Farage is attacked over many things. Some say he's a racist ballbag, gas-lighting the under-class into believing their life is shit because of people coming over here in boats. Others call him a grifting, tax dodging,frog faced c@nt. I however see nothing wrong in good fiscal planning #reform

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Can we all just agree that middle-lane drivers are the scum of the earth, and as such should be taken off the roads, placed into stocks and have rotten fruit and veg thrown at them, then sentenced to 5years hard labour in a prison with no remission. Let me know your thoughts. This is T'Pau.....

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

This is a car crash interview from Richard Tice on Radio 4. Think ill get Lynn to give him a call and talk to him about PR. #reform #farage

000

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Yours truly with the TV am crew back in 84. I never hit it off with John Stapleton, he seemed to hold a grudge & Wincy Willis told me he had a problem with my sports casual attire; he felt a presenter should always be in a collar & tie. Anne Diamond I must say swore like a docker off camera. #tv

010

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

If you were to ask me who my favourite politician was based on what they wear; then it would have to be fag smoking, bitter drinking, casually dressed racist Nigel Farage - 5 million percent. A man whose fashion, I like to think, owes everything to yours truly. #farage youtu.be/LULCnt0Fqgk?...

youtu.be

How to Dress Like Alan | Alan Partridge

YouTube video by Alan Partridge

021

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Before his tragic death Bill Oddie did ring me up for a chat, and one of the things he did say to me was, he wished he had had a go at medieval axe fighting, and having watched this clip can see why. youtu.be/WRQpxX2ANrQ?...

youtu.be

Armored knights in an Axe fight at the Texas Renaissance Festival ends with pommel strike

YouTube video by Simon Rohrich

012

Reposted by Alan Gordon Partridge

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I have nothing against the gay community, in fact I do know one, a Scottish chap who lives two doors down from me & drives a Toyota Corolla. Perfectly nice chap who doesn't feel the need to broadcast it, he just goes about his business, visits Dunston common and has the occasional male friend visit.

001

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

youtu.be

Armored knights in an Axe fight at the Texas Renaissance Festival ends with pommel strike

YouTube video by Simon Rohrich

012

Alan Gordon Partridge @alanpartridge-aha.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

And now its time for Alan's fact of the day - The number 40 is the only number whose letters are spelled in alphabetical order... We'll have another interesting fact for you tomorrow. And now pray silence please, for the electric light orchestra:

010