Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 20hI'm gonna take a break. Orders 21-40 coming soon. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 20hOrder 15: It's always "at-at", never "A-T-A-T". Order 16: It's open season on any Sith caught using a green lightsaber. Order 17: There's no sex in the Blue Milk Room. Order 18: Never mention the 'Force paperclip incident'. Order 19: No polkas. Order 20: All non-bipedal droids may be kicked. 110
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 21hOrder 11: Tauntauns may never be cooked medium well. Order 12: Every morning must begin with a 10 minute hate session. Order 13: TPS reports are always due by the end of the week. Order 14: If a stormtrooper actually hits his target more than once he is promoted to Admiral. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 21hOrder 6: There will never be a wookiee Sith. Order 7: There will never be an ewok Sith. Order 8: We might consider a rancor Sith. Order 9: If it's got a label on it, it's not yours. Put it back in the fridge. Order 10: All Empire officers must have an evil British accent. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 21hOrder 1: Don't ever try peeking under Vader's helmet. Order 2: Palpatine gets first crack at the sunblock. Order 3: Droids are only cool when they're black. Order 4: Force choke must never be used to self-gratification. Order 5: The Death Star's name is fixed. We're not changing it again. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 21hSorry, what were the 65 orders BEFORE Order 66? Order 66 apparently is "kill all the Jedi", which you'd think would be the FIRST order, right? So here we go, all the orders before Order 66: 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 21hi wish life lived up to the way i feel when i cry at a wonderful song 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Akela used Ignore Problems! It's super defective! 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 30/09/2026THAT was one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen. It was fucking GREAT 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I'm halfway through Obsession and it's FUCKED UP 001
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I just watched '40 Acres' and it was fucking fantastic. And it's insane to me that I had never heard of it before. Why aren't more people talking about it? 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 27/09/2026i haz a question: when i open my new store, which socials should i do? insta for sure, probably bluesky... but pinterest? maybe? Cara? 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I think I'll bring Comics Breakdown back once I get my site up and running. I just can't stop talking about this stuff because I want people to love it as much as I do, and I back that up with actual comics panels. This should be good. I've missed doing it. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026And though nobody ever talks about it, Mike Baron and Steve Rude's Nexus was formative to me. got-dammit, why did I ever stop doing Comics Breakdown? 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Grant Morrison's Batman run was so fucking good it made me hope no one else would write that character. And his All-Star Superman was definitive, and one of the few times I actually liked that character. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Warren Ellis's The Authority was superheroes writ large. His Planetary was kinda superheroish, but was mostly about retelling classic trope fiction with a heroey lens. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026There are still examples of great superhero comics I'd recommend. Mark Waid's Daredevil run was incredible. And mostly because he went all-in on examining what having those powers would really be like, something no one's really done to that extent before. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Marvel still doesn't get it. And man, I used to be such a fucking X-Men weeb. But that ended once Claremont stopped writing it, and they haven't gotten me back since. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026BUT! Having said that, the new Absolute series have been fun. Specifically Absolute Batman, Absolute Wonder Woman, and Absolute Martian Manhunter. Because DC actually took a risk on these writers who are trying to give us something different with those IP heroes and for the most part it works. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026That's where true innovation is. Real ideas. I don't give a shit about 'What if X-Men, but they're all actually Avengers?' or 'Batman but he's Robin actually'. Once you go down that path, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026And I'm saying this about superhero comics specifically. Because non-superhero comics are fucking amazing these days. Go read Paper Girls, or Transmetropolitan, or 100 Bullets, or Ex Machina, or Beasts of Burden, or Die, or Once and Future, or really most things by Image Comics. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026But the Batman IP is so valuable you can't stop making up stories. Which means that at some point he'll be rebooted again and again and again. But there are people out there with NEW stories to tell, and the industry is afraid of new stories. New stories can't guarantee ROI. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026And, of course, these days people can't reconcile the IP problem. Batman is a universally-known figure. People are attached to him. So writers keep writing stories about him doing shit. But at some point you can't surprise me anymore. I GET that he's dark and brooding. I'm kinda done with that. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I loved it when superhero comics were just 'Doctor Doom is destroying Kansas! Let's get him!' That's all I wanted from the genre. And you just can't have that anymore, because now writers want you to think there are actual PEOPLE in those masks. And that's just stupid. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026And the second thing that happened to superhero comics is that they all just ran out of ideas. How can you tell? Because all you get anymore these days is heroes fighting heroes. No more good versus evil. Now it's all about moral posturing and posing questions of 'who's right?' 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026It was just fun for Spider-man to fight a guy who called himself the Kangaroo. In the context of standard superhero comics, that's fine. But if you want to examine the actual LIFE of a guy who puts on a kangaroo costume? That's not superhero comics anymore. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026It's not 'realistic' for ANY of this shit to happen. The hypermusculature, the weird powers, the neverending back and forth between good and evil... especially in the context of having to account for all the shit that's happened in the past. You can't reconcile any of that with realism. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Because once you start trying to inject realism into stories where 'real people' put on skintight costumes and fly around, a real cognitive dissonance occurs. These superhero comics were never meant to be a realistic account of ANYTHING. 010
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026But somewhere along the line it was decided that superhero comics needed to be more... adult? Realistic? Relatable? SOMETHING changed and these punch-'em-up characters were suddenly written to be more complex. And that's fine for general storytelling, but not for superhero comics. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026You know, I've probably bitched this before, but I have some new followers since then, so... I grew up reading mostly Marvel comics. 70s and 80s. What I think of as the Golden Age of superhero comics. And it was just fine then. Dudes in costumes beating each other up. Fun. Simple. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026This is hilarious. See the way the lower half of Iron Man is drawn, with those jagged lines? That's a direct bite of Daniel Warren Johnson's style. But DWJ basically MINTED that effect and he does it so much better, 'cause in his work it just fits. It's HIS THING. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026His renderings always seemed... THICK, somehow. Like the lines themselves were bold and husky. Man... they just don't do it like him anymore. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026His style was like George Perez's in that it was consistent. Dude could draw anything and it all felt like it belonged in the same world. One of his trademarks was the line of saliva going from the top of an open, roaring mouth, to the bottom. His personal touch to inject some viscerality. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I just now learned of the death of comics artist legend Sal Buscema. He was one of the greats, when superhero comics were arguably at their peak. Unashamed of what they were, not trying to be 'realistic'. Just great punch-ups every issue. And Buscema's work had a raw power to it. 020
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026bit've an update on my website trauma: my Printful products are finally showing up on Hostinger. I'm going to get all the rest of them set up, then see if I can create the product pages on the actual site PRAY FOR MOJO 110
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 26/09/2026mammal, mammal/their names are called/they raise a paw 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026what i need is someone who knows this stuff to sit with me and walk me through it. but i can't afford to pay anyone to do this. so i'm trying to do the research online and sometimes i get results that don't seem to match with what i'm seeing this is frustrating and confusing 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Now I'm trying to figure out how to create a WordPress site, connect that to WooCommerce, and use all THAT with Hostinger. I'm just stupid, I guess, because it's all completely confusing. None of the directions or explanations make sense. i don't know what goes where or how to connect any of it 100
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I decided to go with Hostinger instead of Shopify because it sounded like a lot less hassle and fewer fees. So now I have a year plan on Hostinger. But for the fucking life of me, I couldn't figure out how to put my products on Printify, then how to connect those products to Hostinger. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Guys, I'm not a tech-smart dog. I had to abandon my plans to learn cybersecurity as a career because I just couldn't fucking understand any of it. And now that I'm trying to figure out how to create a seller site for my artwork, I'm having even more problems. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026That scene is meant to scare the shit out of you, to show how fucking ruthless Rorschach is. I really feel they could have amped up the agony that inmate would have experienced. Just him spasming on the floor. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a fucking freak for saying it, but hey 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026It's on YouTube, watch it some time. The guy gives a generic scream and sits there on his knees with his hands up like he's saying "Why, God, why?" You ever been burnt? You don't just stand there. You fucking writhe around, your body trying desperately to escape the pain. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Apropos of nothing -- like so much of what I say -- that scene in the Watchmen movie where Rorschach dumps boiling grease on his assailant's head... I'm not a sadist. I don't get off on seeing people in pain. But that scene does nothing to truly 'sell' the pain that guy would have felt 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 22/09/2026And I may be leaving myself open/To a murder or heart attack/But I'm leaving the back door open/'Til you come back, 'til you come back 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I don't know where else to put this, so: HR Gigerstuff 100
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 20/09/2026goodnight bluesky goodnight bluefrenz goodnight kyiv goodnight planarian worms goodnight o my waste of a life goodnight goodnight 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 20/09/2026The pilot strips out everything that makes the comic so good. It's dumbed-down, with cutesy dialogue that you know was written to try to appeal to everyone. It's what the money holders think we want from dialogue. 000
Akela Talamasca @akelatalamasca.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Re-reading Global Frequency. It's so fucking good. It's hard science fiction and it wastes no time. It's great, spare writing and each issue is based on one idea. I recommend it for anyone who loves a masterfully-told story. They tried to make a show out of it, and the pilot is on YouTube. BUT 000
