iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 3h

these V Bloods be wildin man 😵‍💫 #afelinecarcass #youtubeshort #twitchclip #carcassclips streamed on Twitch: 💜 [ www.twitch.tv/afelinecarcass ]

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 12h

thanks for hanging out! sorry for not a lot of combat this stream, Fox taught me a castle editing tip and that sent me into deco mode lmao 😅 we'll see ya Thursday for more TTCC w/ @ori0nstarr.bsky.social & frens! ✨ #afelinecarcass #twitch #twitchclip #vrising www.twitch.tv/afelinecarca...

twitch.tv

how did i NOT know this already? - afelinecarcass on Twitch

Watch afelinecarcass's V Rising clip titled "how did i NOT know this already?" on Twitch.

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Reposted by 👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶

DRACULA FLOW @draculaflowbot.bsky.social · 15h

Dracula Flow meme

Smoked a seven gram backwood of shadow whisperer. Shit had me fucked up in the crib looking up pictures of dogs with human eyes

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Reposted by 👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶

Sketchy | Monster Princess 💀🎀 || 📞🫶📺 @sketchyemi.bsky.social · 12h

WE'RE LIVE!!! twitcht.tv/sketchyemi twitcht.tv/sketchyemi twitcht.tv/sketchyemi twitcht.tv/sketchyemi twitcht.tv/sketchyemi

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 16h

☆. 🔴𝔩เ𝐯𝐞🔴 .☆ (🔞)🧛‍♀️terrorizing mortals go brrrr~🩸| 👻 Month of Monsters 🎃 #afelinecarcass #vrising #vampire #live #twitch #kick #monthofmonsters #livestream #lewdtuber #vstreamer 💜 [ www.twitch.tv/afelinecarcass ] 💚 [ kick.com/afelinecarca... ] 💙 [ fansly.com/alewdcarcass... ]

a thumbnail of my vr avi in the clocktower with their hand on their hip, advertising I am currently live on Twitch and Kick

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Reposted by 👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶

ADHD Memes @adhdforreal.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I'll be ok. Despite everything. I'll be alright. I'm still breathing. I still have a home. I still have family and friends. I'm not alone. Eventually, I will heal this. I just need to give it the time it truly deserves. There is no rushing healing. 🙏

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Patience for my wounded monster within. Patience for myself and the tired, struggling adult having to care for me and my monster. Kindness to replace the cruelty left behind. Love for the good I am still capable of. Appreciation for those around me who love me enough to join me through this.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Hug the monster. Cry for it. Feed it hot cocoa and give it a warm blanket and a hug. It is wounded. It is cold. And it is hungry for affection it simply does not receive from anyone else. It is my responsibility to care for my monster. No one else will. 💜

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

When I get enraged, I need to remember the rage is the narrative of victimhood playing out in present time. I am no longer a victim. They are not here to hurt me anymore. They can't get in my head anymore. They won't ever speak to me again. I am safe. I need to remember to comfort myself.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

But it's going to take time. I need to be more patient with my own healing. I recently discovered that my outrage is a defensive reaction to the narrative from childhood trauma of "not being good enough" and suffering wounds of abandonment. Compassion to myself and my wounding is key.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I will continue my efforts to rebuild my previous Vtuber progress. I will keep up my pursuit to be a content creator and keep following my dreams. I won't allow these malicious masked assholes to get away with shattering them and making me believe I can't achieve them. I refuse to give up.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I now have the blessed opportunity to build away from them and no longer have to be victim to their malicious social manipulations. But I can never pretend those people were ever as kind or nice as they make themselves out to be. No. They are all fake. All of them It's all masks.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I'm not used to dealing with people who are so damn good at hiding their shady intentions socially and mask so damn well and pretend like they care about you to trick you into feeding their agendas. I'm used to being socially persecuted. I'm not used to it being so well hidden.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I wasn't raised like that. I wasn't raised to operate like that. I wasn't taught to be such a malicious human being wearing a pretty smile for all to see. I don't mask because I don't know how. I was always permitted to simply be comfortable in my own skin and operate from honesty.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

This awareness of how those people function and people just like them outside of them drives me insane. My brain can barely comprehend it. The functioning dysfunctions. The ease of deception. The manipulation. The lack of guilt and remorse. The sadistic joy to watch me suffer and mock me.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

It takes everything in me to remain a loving, sweet person to people I barely know. It's hard to trust. Its hard to go back to being someone who could so blindly believe that kindness was abundant and people didn't operate like they did. I was so damn naive.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I don't want to be a monster. I don't want to be someone who only knows how to destroy. I just wanted to be a friend. I wanted to remain kind. I wanted to remain sweet. All I know now is violent hatred and destructive tendencies with every mood swing.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I don't know how to get past this. I don't know what it's going to take to cease this internal howling. I have never felt such destructive internal feelings before, and I constantly struggle to keep them contained. It's why I consider myself a monster. I feel like one, after what they did to me.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

All I feel is hatred now. Resentment. There is a dark, corrupt, shadowy void they left behind in me. It wants to destroy. It wants to corrupt. It wants to burn everything they've built to the ground. It's angry, it's in pain, and it howls constantly for a justice it will never receive.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The version of me that allowed that is dead. I killed her. I had to. I couldn't bear to allow myself to become another sad pathetic doormat to yet another manipulative friend group who just tolerated me for what I could give them. I can't do that to myself again. Never again.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I didn't understand how naively I fed into the idea that if I just kept giving of myself, if I just showed more support, if I just kept being kind and sweet and nice to them, that maybe, maybe I could be a friend. I was lied to. I was led on. And I was turned into a villain.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I gave and gave and gave of whatever little I had back then when they still bothered to tolerate me, and all I got in return was being casted out, banned, and a mental illness stigma stained onto my reputation alongside a lie about my lack of understanding boundaries. I just wanted to be friends.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I don't know how to feel about it. Its hard to comprehend the simple fact that they were fully allowed to do what they did and nothing prevented them from doing it, and if anything, they were rewarded for it. Rewarded, for cutting off someone who only wanted to love and support them.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I want what they have, but I don't want to be anything like them. I don't want to become someone who's willing to hurt others to get what I want, consequences be damned. And that's the most frustrating part. There have been no consequences to their actions whatsoever. None. No pushback. At all.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I don't want to follow the same path of shattered dreams of others and broken promises just to climb to the top like they did. Ignorant of all the pain they caused. Happy, because they got theirs. And lacking any ability to empathize with anyone they stepped on to get there.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I have to constantly remind myself that even though they have what I've always wanted for myself, they are not good people. They are not people worthy of trust. They left me behind for a reason. I was a stranger and an outcast, someone they could not tolerate for whatever reasons they could find.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

They seem so happy together. Their lives seem so rich. They are so far ahead of me now. I can barely imagine being able to keep up, being only one chronically ill woman trying to fight her CPTSD just to keep up the dream they get the privilege to live out now. I don't get it.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

And whats worse is, it has made me bitter. I do have such a sour taste in my mouth that I'm forced to suffer a loss of the thing that kept me going during school, meanwhile I look back to them, and they seem so happy as their talents get ever grander and draw them more fame. It hurts.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

It has also deeply ruptured my previous love to drawing and doing art. I have not been able to consecutively fully render anything in years because every time I have tried, the act of starting makes me remember the joy of drawing around them before, and the pain of the memories is too much for me.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

My lack of followers sometimes gets to me. My constant need to grit my teeth and get content out frustrates me whenever I tend to compare myself to those who started where I was at years ago, and have had the privilege to keep going, without sabotage to force them into rebuilding like I have.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I think I'm finally actually ready, emotionally and mentally, to do that now. I have a deep emotional trigger every time I think about what happened, and both my online and physical circumstances don't make it easy to forget that I had made good progress prior to their public sabotage.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Regardless, I've been able to accomplish a lot in the short amount of time since the initial fallout. But I think, because of my eagerness to get ahead of the trauma, I may have skipped a few steps in terms of actually allowing the process of letting go and moving on to happen.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

And it does get to me. I do get jealous. Envy does infect me sometimes, but I always have to remind myself that as soon as I let those thoughts win, those people become right in their judgements to attack me due to envy being a cause for me to be considered "toxic". Trying my best to prevent this.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I've always felt like, despite all the opportunities and "pretty privilege" given to me, that I haven't always actually had a fair shake at things. Someone either always ruined things for me, or I simply ruined it myself, thanks to my chronic illnesses. It's been a very frustrating journey.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I've always suffered late bloomer syndrome, and not of my own doing, either. There's always been some kind of circumstance in my life, even perpetuated by others such as the previous community, that prevented me from being able to take the same linear steps everyone else was able to take.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Meanwhile, I've watched from the sidelines during my rants as the past folk I once thought were my "friends" moved on with their lives. Getting married. Having kids. Going up in their Vtuber careers. Initially felt like I was left behind. Sabotaged to be used as a stepping stool to their success.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Psychiatrist finally helped me with getting me on the right meds and getting the proper diagnosis of my cocktail of mental illnesses. During therapy, I started up my new and current Twitch streaming alias and Youtube channel. I've been drilling at its progression ever since.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Went to therapy for 8 months over not just the friendship betrayal but also other past traumas I suffered. I got along with my therapist well. She helped, if only slightly. Cleared up what the situation really was, from how best I could describe it objectively. Started seeing a psychiatrist.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I went through a lot of tarot readings, both on myself and through Youtube. I cried, a lot. I yelled. I screamed at the sky multiple times asking the gods why things happened to me like they did. I lost my job thanks to health issues. I got fired. I started going to therapy.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I have done a lot in those 3 years. I started a new job at the news station and it was the longest period of time I ever was able to hold down a job. I learned a lot. I processed what happened while I worked there. I spent a lot of my lunches meditating on why and how things ended.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I went to check the date of when I posted my Predatory ADRENALINE MIX track, and it says 3 years. 3 years is not a lot of time to get over friendship betrayal, even if it was platonic. I may have been overestimating my ability to truly detach quickly from the situation internally and mentally.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Sitting here really meditating on how much time its been since certain traumas hit me initially And its honestly making me realize,... maybe I've been trying to rush my own healing process. I think its unreasonable of me to believe I can get over deep emotional wounding in only a few years.

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Anyone using the term "foid" unknowingly is progressing the sexist mysoginistic ass behavior and mentality 4chan loves to perpetuate and there's too many accidentally ignorant poor fools on here blissfully unaware of the reality of the grift itself Fucking hell

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

As soon as I saw the term "foid" at the end of the word I knew it had something to do with 4chan because those insane fucks are the only people chronically online enough to refer to femme-presenting folk with such a niche slur

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The Malfoid trend is a 4chan sexism/transphobia grift and too many of you dumb motherfuckers are falling for it 🤦‍♀️

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Lewdy~Ora~ @lewdyora.com · 13/10/2026

Yes, looking for you! ♥️ discord.gg/nightshiftbar #vrc #club #lapdance #dancing

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👁 violet heretic, mad harlot 🎶 @afelinecarcass.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Feeling generous?~ Why not gift me a lil' something nice? Thanks for being so kind and sweet to me. <3 throne.com/afelinecarcass777/wishli…

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Donut (Comms open!) @donutsthetic.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

“It’s not that deep” only for the person who only looked from the sidelines, has not thought to grab a shovel and do the work to dig deep enough for creative thinking.

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chupabara.bsky.social @chupabara.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

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