Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 1hYOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! After all, your organs are extremely expensive on the black market. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 4hIf you don't have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 21hWhy does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife died. 🤓 weird-jokes.comweird-jokes.comWeird Jokes – Odd, Absurd & Hilariously Unhinged HumorDive into the weirdest, wildest, and most bizarre jokes on the web—updated regularly with surreal one-liners, dark humor, and memes that defy normality. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 08/10/2026What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 08/10/2026I just laugh stuff off cause prison doesn’t cook the food I like. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I wouldn't mind being cloned. Just keep that asshole away from me. 🤓 weird-jokes.com 010
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Of course I know the difference between right and wrong Wrong is the fun one. 010
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon. I think I'm gonna be pretty good at it. 🤓 weird-jokes.com 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I bought a toilet brush the other day… But I went back to using toilet paper…it’s less messy and hurts less too 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Life is ultimately just a 'try-not-to-die' challenge set on impossible difficulty. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026If you beat your own record, you’re both a winner and a loser. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Why are firefighters mostly men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet. 🤓 weird-jokes.com 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026What’s way worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the whatever. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026The alphabet is just 26 symbols we turned into poetry, emails, and terms and conditions. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026The biggest problem with eating healthy is that I don’t wanna do that. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026life's too short to tolerate shit that doesn't make you happy. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026First Rule of Camping: Start building the tent before you start drinking. 010
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The original “cloud storage” was emailing yourself a file. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I bet the worst part of Wild West porn was that piano music. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Me: "Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a supermarket" Doctor: "How long have you felt like this?" Me: "Since I was Lidl". 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Babysitters are teenagers who act like adults so that adults can go out and act like teenagers. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I once dated a pair of twins. People always asked how I could tell them apart. It was easy: Mary painted her fingernails purple and Bob had a cock. 🤓 weird-jokes.comweird-jokes.comWeird Jokes – Odd, Absurd & Hilariously Unhinged HumorDive into the weirdest, wildest, and most bizarre jokes on the web—updated regularly with surreal one-liners, dark humor, and memes that defy normality. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Boredom has led me to swap the labels on my wife's spices. She hasn't realised yet, but her thyme is cumin. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I take calculated risks but I am also bad at maths. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026"I'm Not A Robot" is exactly what a robot would say. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026What's the oldest age someone can get a circumcision? I just want to know the cutoff date. 🤓 weird-jokes.com 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026My Wife is threatening to leave me because I am too arrogant. I told her to close the door on her way back in. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Scientists concluded that tsunamis occur because the ocean is mad that no one ever waves back. 001
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026A pizza is just a pie chart for how much pizza you have left. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Breasts are like the Sun... If you wear sunglasses, you can stare at them longer. 🤓 weird-jokes.com 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Me* in HR office "Does this rule apply to me?" HR: "A lot of these rules are because of you, so yes." 🤓 weird-jokes.com 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I've had my expensive middle eastern rug stolen. I called the police, but they told me I had to wait 48 hours to report a missing persian. 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me? 000
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 27/09/2026The left earbud is either in the right ear or in the right ear. 010
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I have a urology joke, too, but it would probably piss you off. #Jokes #Memes 010
Andrey Bratus @abratus.bsky.social · 26/09/2026You're just with me cause I got money. Me talking to my new wallet. 🤓 weird-jokes.comweird-jokes.comWeird Jokes – Odd, Absurd & Hilariously Unhinged HumorDive into the weirdest, wildest, and most bizarre jokes on the web—updated regularly with surreal one-liners, dark humor, and memes that defy normality. 010