iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

In the same way that “you aren’t stuck in traffic, you are traffic,” you can’t owe or pay a debt to society. You are society.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

I’m not always the best at counterfactuals, but something I 100% know I wouldn’t do if I were in your shoes is go barefoot.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 26/12/2024

I have no idea what I mean by this, but December 26 doesn’t feel like a real day.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

The your-wife-should-have-stuff-in-her-stocking-too discourse on threads today enlightened me to the fact there are adults with stockings. I had no idea that was a thing. I’ve never put anything in my wife’s stocking, because, as The Ladies’ Man said about his car, her stocking…doesn’t exist.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

But…but…isn’t that second sentence a hypothetical??

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Some backyard shenanigans now that we finally have snow.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

✨10 Words That People Who Learn Everything From Reading Say…Interestingly✨ 1. Misled 2. Epitome 3. Quinoa 4. Cache 5. Worcestershire 6. Hyperbole 7. Albeit 8. Debris 9. Awry and 10. Voila! The list is done. Come along for more if you feel like it. 😆👋

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

(N.B. – This joke assumes a formerly ticking second hand. If it used to move continuously, the clock is wrong ♾️-2.)

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

A broken clock is wrong 86,398 times a day.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

Enough for me to be reminded that one of the prevailing myths surrounding him is founded on a barbaric notion of justice that assumes 1) I’m morally deficient, and 2) this deficiency can only be resolved by killing me (or someone else, if that’s my preference)? Yes, it’s enough for that. (3/3)

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

Enough for me to appreciate him at the level several religions do? No, not really. (2/3)

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

A post came across my feed that said “Jesus died on the cross for you. Isn’t that enough?” Of course, the question comes to mind — “Enough for what?” (1/3)

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Jesus is on everybody’s side. What are the odds?!

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

I don’t take Jesus that seriously, but at least I admit it. 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think I know of anybody who takes him very seriously apart from where his reported words and actions align with what they believe anyway.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Saw someone complaining about how their memory foam mattress has permanent indentations. Sounds like maybe they actually wanted a dementia foam mattress.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Apparently, I decided to include a review from my son when I froze tonight’s dinner a few months ago.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

The people with dramatically strong opinions about cyber trucks are going to be one of the main reasons it goes down in history.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

One reason to try to get rich is to reduce your chances of having to go to heaven.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I don’t know if anyone else has the same algorithm as me, but this app has me trained to assume this is a hyperrealistic embroidery.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I picked up some combat boots yesterday... There’s a date on them: August, 1966. And a name: Martin M. G—. It took about 10 seconds to find him. He’s 79 and lives 11 miles from me. Am I going to do anything with this information? Not practically, no. But I do like a boot with an ethos…

Close-up of a black combat boot on a hardwood floor.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

The dog’s shampoo says it was not tested on animals, but, like, surely it was at SOME point.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

Our family is divided in today’s contest. Pray for us.

A Penn State and a Minnesota gopher football player. The two teams face off today.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

And then, from this haphazardly selected vantage point, they construct an entire belief system; they call it objective; and then the rest of us are supposed to comply. No thanks.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

But eventually on this quest back in time, the purist and the moralizer have to arbitrarily pick a point to call “the beginning,” otherwise they’ll just end up looking eternally into the past for an infinitely distant cause.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

Both types of people look backward for the beginning or the cause of a thing — a time when things were supposedly neutral and have since been perverted.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

Not to be over serious about it on a Saturday morning, but in this sense, language purism is a bit like a belief in moral responsibility. 🤔 (1/…)

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

Language purists don’t actually have anything pure to preserve. They just prefer the previous contaminants.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

Anyway. Thanks for reading. As always, if you like being told that the way you speak English is perfectly fine, come along. I got more. 👋🙏

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

All this to say, “irregardless” is a perfectly sensible and even creative word. Is it nonstandard? Yes. But all that means is that you have to be careful using it because some people will judge you. Which of course says nothing bad about you and only bad things about them. 🤷‍♀️

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

“So it’s a useless, unnecessary word,” the grumbler might continue. To which I say, “Listen, buddy, by that measure all synonyms are useless and unnecessary, but if you wanna come for my synonyms you’re gonna have to pry them from my… ✨frigid deceased paws✨.”

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

What do you get when you blend two words that mean the same thing? ✨A third word that means the same thing.✨ gigantic + enormous = ginormous chill + relax = chillax And irrespective + regardless = irregardless

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

“But those mean the same thing!” someone might grumble. Ok, fine. What’s wrong with that?

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

It’s a portmanteau! (A portmanteau is a word made from blending two other words — like electricity + execute = electrocute.) “Irregardless” is likely a combo of “irrespective” and “regardless.”

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

This means the relatively new word “irregardless” can’t have come from ir- + “regardless.” No speaker of modern English would do that. Thus, “irregardless” is not a nonsensical double negative. So then what is it?

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

If you’re stressed you might say you’re ✨unrelaxed✨. Everyone would roll with it because we all know un- will do any adjective you let them near. But, you’d never say you’re ✨irrelaxed✨. un- is productive, ir- is not.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

So what does this have to do with “irregardless”? Well, as it turns out, the ir- of “irregardless” is unproductive. No native English speaker will naturally make a new word with ir-.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

You can *dis*appear, but when you reappear, no one would say you *dis*vanished. Speaking of *re*appear, though— THAT prefix will hook up with any verb it wants to and there will be a new word. Both dis- and re- are common, but only one is productive.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

Prefixes and suffixes, as it happens, are either productive or unproductive. Meaning, we can either use them to make new words or we can’t. For instance: The very common prefix dis- is unproductive. We use it all the time, but we don’t naturally use it *to make new words*.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

“Irregardless” doesn’t come from adding ir- to “regardless.” That’s grammatically impossible.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

Yes, ir- is a prefix that means “not.” (e.g. relevant/irrelevant, rational/irrational) So it would be reasonable to assume that “irregardless” means ✨not regardless✨. But there’s a twist!—

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

Is “irregardless” a double negative? Is it nonsense because it means “not regardless”? No and no. And for a pretty interesting reason, too (if you’re an abject nerd):

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

From one perspective, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. From another perspective, Jesus made Lazarus die twice.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

If you follow me, you follow Budget, too. So, you know, come along if you feel like it. 🤷‍♀️👋😼

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

And chapter 5 is “how to make people want to know you.” I’m just going to assume that step #1 is “don’t let them know you’re reading this book.”

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

I saw this “self-help” book at a vintage shop and #8 from his list of 20 made me chuckle.

Front cover of an old book titled “20 steps to power, influence, and control over people“

A page from the book showing the chapter title “how to listen aggressively”

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

To quote Tim Minchin… Do you know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proved to work? Medicine.

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Anyhow, thanks for coming to my bible study. Come along for more if you feel like it. 🤓🙏

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Fortunately, that program only saved the previous 8 searches, so I just needed to type in a few less salacious terms and I was good. 😰😅

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Abraham Piper @abrahampiper.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Anyway… This is giving me flashbacks to the time I searched “breasts” in a bible program on our family’s first computer in the 80’s. That’s when I discovered, to my horror, the concept of a search history. 😳

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