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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley

@marcc.bsky.social
1.2K followers 389 following 3.5K posts

I write short SFF stories & drabbles (kickin-the-darkness.com) and am a member of Codex and SFWA. Follow me for SF, Alabama (esp Huntsville), and democracy. BTW, AI slop is gross and "an insult to humanity." nobodywantsyouraislop.com

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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 20h
Mama Doe's got her hooves full!
A doe and three still-spotted fawns grazing in a leaf strewn lawn.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
@scalzi.com
Epic Handshake meme:

John Scalzi/Marc Criley

Colonoscopy accomplished!
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Celebratory meme captioned "It's colonoscopy day!"
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Tammy was SUCH a popcorn dog.
A brown dog with extended ears and her chin resting on a recliner footrest gazing at a bowl of fresh-popped popcorn.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The "Get In Loser" meme, captioned "We're doing colonoscopy prep."
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The "Big Oak"
The 160-year-old oak tree next to my house, against a brilliant blue sky
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Chapter 4.1 of The Tao of Programming by Geoffrey James www.mit.edu/~xela/tao.html
"A well-written program is its own Heaven; a poorly-written program is its own Hell."

4.1
A program should be light and agile, its subroutines connected like a string of pearls. The spirit and intent of the program should be retained throughout. There should be neither too little nor too much. Neither needless loops nor useless variables; neither lack of structure nor overwhelming rigidity.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Wife got me a shirt for my birthday from @diabolicalplots.com. "It smells like new T-shirt!"
A bearded man wearing a ball cap, glasses and a T-shirt that says DIABOLICAL PLOTS in red letters.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Pixel 11 black toe beans zoomed
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Lookit that block of chert! All ready to start knapping!
A block of grey, semi-translucent chert. Adjacent to it is a diamond-shaped rock showing a seashell fossil.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Though no longer necessary, the rocks were then replaced. The yellowish, diamond-shaped rock has a couple fossils in it, left there for the interest of whoever may come along someday.
A wooded florest floor with a pile of rocks surrounding a well-set pink-topped rebar pin. Above it is a survey marker tag, and adjacent is a backpack used to haul up several heavy items.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The hole went down about 4 inches or so, into which I then pounded the rebar.
A pink-topped rebar pin emplaced in a newly drilled hole. The sledgehammer used to assist the emplacement lies alongside. (Note: the pink surveyor ID cap was removed prior to driving it in, then replaced.)
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
In-work...
A pile of gray dust mounding the hole in the limestone rock shelf.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I'd hauled the hammer drill, inverter, and two batteries up the hill to drill a hole at the exact spot to sink the rebar into.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
While my wife held the pin steady, I cleared the rocks away, dug out the dirt around it (2 inches of which wasn't enough to hold it in place), then sprayed orange paint at the base, with the bottom of the rebar shielding the point of contact from the paint, thereby marking the spot.
An orange sprayed area on a rock shelf with a pink-topped rebar survey pin lying next to it.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The parcel was surveyed a couple months ago and it turned out the upper corner would be on a rock shelf. The surveyors marked it and did a nice job packing rocks around so it didn't shift.
A leaf-strewn forest floor with a pile of rocks surrounding a pink-capped rebar pin. A survey tag hangs above the pin.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Had a project to do up on the hill today.
Hardware items: Fluorescent pink survey marking ribbon, fluorescent orange marking paint, Greenworks DC/AC inverter, two Greenworks 40V/2A batteries, ear protection, work gloves, two 1/2" Bosch masonry bits, small sledge hammer, Alabama bulb planter (aka mini-pickaxe), Makita hammer drill.

Not shown: Can of compressed air, small brush
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Rude awakening, in three acts. 1: ... 2: What the hell??? 3: I have just expired.
Two black cats peacefully sleeping on an upholstered chair.One black cat sleeping, the other sensing a noxious cloud.One black cat sleeping, the other gagging at the fumes.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
A distraught woman with tears running down her face, captioned "When you go to eat your chocolate chip cookies...and find that it's oatmeal raisin."
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
"Be careful of..." What???
A pair of corroded batteries on which is written "Be careful of eating by mistake!"
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The solar porch lights weren't coming on, so it was time to check out the hardware. Cracked open the solar panel and saw this. Okay, pretty good idea why the lights stopped working. Wait, what's that say on the batteries?
An opened solar panel with a small circuit board with wires leading to a corroded battery pack. Lying nearby is an electric meter.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Breaking: Freddy, the magical talking flu will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.
A silver colored and rhinestone sprayed talking flute
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
You were NOT given permission to film me!!! #BirdOfTheDay #AngryBirds
A pissed off hummingbird caught hovering in front of the camera above a driveway, with a gray car parked on it.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Name a non LotR character who could resist the One Ring.
A large man wearing a form-fitting blue superhero suit with antennae. That is, The Tick.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
RS with your home river. Snake River. No, not the one in Idaho. Minnesota.
A calm river flowing between wooded banks at sunset.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Who's that at the camera???
Hummingbird hovering in front of the camera, a gray car is parked on the driveway
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Another shot of the little dude. Mom wandered by earlier, but apparently is confident that junior's in a good place for the time being.
A fawn with its head up, resting in the grass under a rose arbor.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Saw something brown moving out under our rose arbor, but couldn't make it exactly what it was. Had a pair of binocs at hand so I grabbed them. At first I thought it was a fox, but then it became clear... #Satdeerday
A small brown fawn with white streaks and spots lying almost out of sight in the grass beneath a rose arbor.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Order one of our Abyssal Black models and receive a free box of Meat Lasagna*! *Meat lasagna not included
A black cat lies in an upside down in a yellow "Meat Lasagna" box sitting in front of a fireplace.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Yeah, pretty much spot on. I was 8 when our family moved to Minnesota, and my stay-at-home mom was from Iowa. Would've been super interesting to see how this evolved over the decades.
A US dialect map colored in shades of red for "Most like you" to "Blue" for Least like you.

The deepest red areas are centered on Minnesota, Iowa, and northern Montana; while the bluest are the New England states and Louisiana.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Basket, black beans, and the 1-paw slouch.
Black cat lounging on a recliner in front of a basket.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Post your getaway vehicle
A man in train mechanic uniform nonchalantly standing on a large locomotive.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Uh... brother?
A balding man with a white facial hair wearing glasses in front of a background of trees.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Would like to get a gravimetric reading on this too while you're here.
A curled-up black cat sleeping on a woolly white blanket.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Having just acquired photos of a pair of great great grandparents that were new to me, I counted up that I've got photos of 9 of my 16 great great grandparents (and one of a third great grandfather). I think I'm pretty lucky in this regard.
Top: Old photo of an elderly man in jacket and trousers standing in front of a small palm tree.
Bottom: Old photo of an elderly woman in a long dress sitting in a rocking chair reading a letter.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Very weird in Alabama after the last two weeks: The"Feels Like" temperature differs little from the actual temperature. Kinda comfortable, actually...
Snapshot from my weather station showing a temperature of 90° and a "Feels Like" temp of 91°.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Okay, now even better!
3.54 inches per hour highlighted
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Happening now!
Rainfall chart with 2.50 inches/hour circled
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Also in the museum is "Coming Home," works by LeXander Bryant, Jahni Moore, and Toyin Ojih Odutola. Each artist presenting "home as fluid, both physical and emotional, rooted and reimagined." Some very powerful works are on display (3/n)
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Right now there's an Andy Warhol exhibit, showing his "film, fashion, photography." I'm tellin' ya, you look at these works in real life and you can't help but see his tremendous influence on pop art & culture. (2/n)
Andy Warhol's multi-colored Marilyn Monroe series.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Uh, my great grandmother did this. She and her husband saw airplanes at the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis (though grounded due to weather), and she saw Neil step onto the moon. Walked/rode from Texas to Illinois as a child, flew to California at age 90.
An elderly white-haired woman in a floral print dress sitting in a metal porch chair.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Lush green trees in front of a thick green forested hill with the exception of a single tree sporting orange leaves. A speech bubble from that tree says, "Fuck Summer I'm Done"
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Author pic for my story in an upcoming horror anthology. More later...
Dark red tinted image of a hooded, glowering, bearded man.

The text reads, "Some gifts are more personal than others."
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Pictures are working again post something stupid from your phone
Closed airplane storage bins.

Accidental photo?
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Indifference #Caturday #BlackCats
A pair of black cats indifferently gaze into space amidst a chaos of greenery, spice jars, napkin holder, and mug.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Haunches #Caturday #BlackCat
The hind legs of a black extend out from under a kitchen island across a blue carpet. Complementing them are my black sock clad feet.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
So this just happened... Heard something shrieking outside my window and looked up into the big oak alongside the house and spotted this red-shouldered hawk!
An overly zoomed in photo of a brown streaked hawk sitting on a branch high up in a leafy oak tree.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Bluesky archaeology people! A friend plowed this up in his field SE of Ava, Illinois. Wondering if it's a native American grindstone? There have been other artifacts, like arrowheads, found in the fields.
A smooth oblong brown stone with a blue pen in front of it for size.A smooth oblong brown stone with a blue pen in front of it for size.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Cat on a mat #Caturday #BlackCats
A black cat sleeping on its side on a doormat.
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Marc "Candy Corn" Criley @marcc.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Who ate the plums
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