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10 Second People

@10secondpeople.bsky.social

4 followers 1 following 14 posts

These people don't exist. Instagram.com/10secondpeople

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Grover Armada

Grover Armada:

Expert tailor, cobbler, and hatter. Original and current owner of Firme Fabrics y Todo in East Los.
One of the last true zoot suiters trained in the old ways. His clientele includes everyone from Bishop Don Magic Juan to David Beckham to Steve Harvey, who has a dressing room, velvet foot stool, and custom mannequin in the salon reserved only for him. If you need a custom Homburg Hat, Havana Suit, and Wingtip Brogue Oxfords all in cornflower blue, you go to G Arm. People fly in from all over the world to be dressed by this legendary pachuco.

10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Colton Racker

Colton Racker:

Footballer, born and raised in Angola, only white guy to play on Angola's national football team. He's a beloved veteran striker, but that doesn't stop him from being the target of never-ending jokes and memes. Not because of how he plays on the field, or for anything strange he does off the field. Not for his personal life, his past, not even for the massive cowlick on top of his head that, when untamed, makes him look like a cockatoo. But simply because of his name on the back of his jersey: "C.RACKER."

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Thom Krebitz

Thom Krebitz:

Tapped out of a high-pressured life to become a cloistered monk. He quite likes it. He's kept himself rather busy rattling around a moldy monastery for the last 14 years, but more and more his thoughts are on just one thing. Sour gummy candy. Delicious chewy strawberries and tamarindo, sour peach rings and those wonderful little watermelon ones. What were they called? He wishes he could remember. Those were his favorite. It's the only thing he misses from secular life.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Letty Gyles

Letty Gyles:

Artist, marathoner, marathon artist.
First person to paint a complete (albeit really shitty) painting while running a full marathon. She finished, but it didn't end well. At mile 23, overcome with emotion at nearing the end of her painting and the race, she painted with her drinking water then drank her paint water, and ended the day in the hospital getting her stomach pumped.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Mr. Frangipane

Mr. Frangipane:

Local celebrity, cookery expert, lover of a good gimmick. He had a cable access cooking show from
1977 - 1989, then brought his well-crafted persona to QVC where he sold a reasonably successful line of enamel-coated cast iron cookware called Frangipans.
But his ultimate claim to fame was a run in backstage with Richard Simmons, which was picked up on a hot mic. Richard was heard calling him, "a heartless thieving queen just like that Dynasty bitch Joan Collins," and accused Frangipane of stealing his entire personality down to the shorty shorts.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Jan Overbacht

Jan Overbacht:

Matchmaker, self-proclaimed love expert, writer of four successful books on marriage, single for 41 years. She's not going to give up hope, though. No. She's convinced she's single because she's "selective," not because she keeps a full jar labeled "bandaids to be reused," and believes she has a deep and meaningful (consummated) relationship with the ghost of Art Bell.

10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Ginger "Gigi" Prentice

Ginger "Gigi" Prentice:

Electrologist to the stars. One of four people alive who knows what Larry King's balls look like. In the 80's, when leaving the set of UHF, she accidentally drove into into a Tornado and had a near-death experience. She lived the next 10 years thinking she was the reincarnation of Cleopatra until she got stuck in a sarcophagus and almost died. Again.

10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Darius Jack, M.D.

Darius Jack, M.D.:

Phi Beta Kappa, board certified podiatric surgeon, foot fetishist. But he's not into feet as a whole, he's into foot bones. Which works out well, because no one ever suspects him of secretly masturbating to the multiple x-rays of feet he always keeps on his light box.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Caroline Port

Caroline Port:

Has memorized all the choreography from every Britney Spears Instagram video. Tried out for American Idol four times, The Voice twice, and Bright Little Stars over Idaho seven times. No one will ever convince Caroline she can't sing or dance, nor will they ever convince her she is not destined to be famous. Not even Caroline's mother, who just needs it all to stop already.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

Frederick Poseidon

Frederick Poseidon:

Mystery writer, cucumber enthusiast, owner of the largest Topo Gigio memorabilia collection in the western hemisphere. In his 60's, he got into a bizarre mandoline accident that badly cut his lip and prevented half of his signature Cupid's bow mustache from growing. For the rest of his life, he wore a stick-on half-bow half-stache.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

Violet Tamplas

Violet Tamplas:

Professional dancer. Professional dance instructor. Professional pain in the ass. She wanted to become a TikTok gossip girl and tried to build her channel on the untrue rumor that Carrot Top is a secret competitive eater. She tried to coin the moniker "Carrot Jaw," but a quick cease-and-desist put an end to that and to her TikTok channel.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Greg Rehoboth

Greg Rehoboth:

Plaster and drywall man, cantor at his synagogue, expert marksman, furry. He sees a Dominatrix twice a month. He tells his wife he's going to play cards, but in reality he's going to play Tina, the Shetland pony.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Jinxie Pterodactyl

JinxiePterodactyl:

Former proprietor of an overpriced consignment store in Silver Lake in the early 2000s. She funded the store in the 90s buying vintage Levi's in bulk. She still wears low rise Frankie B's and sky high platform heels even though she's now at the 'break a hip' age. Her birth name is Gwen Funt.

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10 Second People @10secondpeople.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Timpani Timoteo

Timpani Timoteo: First person to play Timpani in a Mariachi band. He wears a white guayabera when he performs to complement the gold accents on his mallets. His Timpani is cartoonishly large compared to his short, squat form, and appears even larger when he's trying to pull it out of his small, red hatchback.

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